How I Got My Ex Boyfriend's Girlfriend Pregnant
by cynmonstrosity
Summary: I know what you're thinking. And no, I don't have a penis. I'm just a jockey in the plans of destiny, or maybe it was just jealousy. My name is Bella Swan and like many a douche bag teenage boy before me, I got a girl pregnant. But of course, it's not just any girl. It is my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Rated M for language.
1. Preface

_**Preface**_

The only things that ran through my mind were:  
>What a fucking idiot.<br>He left his car _unlocked_.  
>This is a sign. God is on my side tonight.<p>

As you can see, I forgot to pay my brain bill for the evening.

Now don't ask me why I did it. I, personally, have no clue at all even to this day. All I know is that I was seeing red for about 10 minuets now and it was not going away.

I looked around to make sure that no one was watching me before I got into the door. I wasn't a complete idiot, as you may or may not believe in a complete of minuets, and I knew that there needed to be no witnesses.

I always hated this damn truck. I still don't understand why the hell he cares so much about a vomit green 1998 Toyota Tachoma. I'm not emotionally attached to my truck. Maybe it's a southern thing I don't know about. And not to sound like a Taylor Swift song but, I fucking hate that stupid old pickup truck.

My first instinct was to do something to the truck. Bang up the doors, key up the leather interior, smash the windshield, preset the radio to all the gay stations, all the usual stuff. But no, that wasn't good enough for me. I wanted to do something far shittier than whatever I could think of.

I looked around the truck for something, anything that I could use for revenge. I opened the glove compartment and that's when I saw it. The condom. He always kept it on hand, but call me crazy but I was never in the mood to fuck in the bed of a truck in the rainiest town in America.

That's the time that the demon possessed me.

I grabbed my purse and pulled out the sewing kit that my overprotective mother always sneaks into my purse. I also have pepper spray, Band-Aids, tweezers, antibacterial lotion, ibuprofen, sunscreen, and aloe vera because, and I quote, "You never know what life will throw at you dear, especially with you running around in Forks with all of those goddamn wild animals."

I took the smallest needle I could find in the kit and kissed it.

"Hope this is will be exciting for you, you motherfucking prick," I sneered.

Taking the needle I grabbed the condom and, I'm not going to sugarcoat this, stabbed the son of a bitch. Not once, not twice, but a good 10 times.

I put everything back in its exact spot. I was in and out, like a ninja, or a ghost. Oh! A ninja ghost. I quietly shut the door and booked down the street, all the while with a shit eating grin on my face.

At the time I didn't really understand what I did. I just wanted to get a little revenge and get my anger out. But that was only the beginning.

Because I got my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend pregnant.

**AN:**

**Should I continue?**

** -cynmonstrosity**


	2. Chapter 1: The Shock

_**Chapter One**_

What I loved about running is the feeling of invincibility that you get when you're done. Feeling invincible is like being drunk. It makes you want to dance on tables, makes you feel like nobody can touch you, and it makes you irresponsible. In a town like Forks it takes a lot to keep you entertained. But for me all I needed was the running trail in the woods by Charlie's house.

If I had to describe Forks in one word it would be green. Its green everywhere you look. The color pallet of Forks is many different hues of green with a splash of brown mixed it. After 14 years of Phoenix, which has nothing but yellows and reds, I welcomed green.

When I was 16 I left Renee and her new husband in Arizona and moved back in with my father Charlie. It wasn't that I didn't like my mom or anything. I just felt like she didn't need me as much anymore. She had Phil, while my dad had nobody. It just felt like Forks was calling to me.

I've run the 2 mile path more than enough times. I knew this path like the back of my hand. I could run it blindfolded. And one day I felt extra invincible and decided to test the theory.

I stood at the beginning of the path in my black mesh Adidas shorts, Frankie Says Relax t-shirt, and purple Nikes staring the path down.

I smirked at the trail, "Ready to become my bitch?" as I untied my old red bandana from my right wrist. And I swear to God that I heard the path whimper a bit. I reached over and turned on my iPod to full volume. Upping the ante. I smoothed the bandana over my eyes and securely tied it under my ponytail. And with that I took off into a jog.

My thoughts were stilled. My heart rate was picking up. My breathing became rapid. My body was heating up. The sweat was beginning to form. My feet were moving to the beats from the music. I was in heaven for about 20 minuets.

Then heaven was intruded.

As I was turning onto the final left bend I ran straight into a strong tree. My bubble burst. I ripped out my ear buds and threw off the bandana. "Motherfucking tree!" I screamed and sat on the trail with my head in my hands. I was so close. I just had a quarter of a mile left.

"Why the hell are you screaming at me for? You ran the fuck into me!"

My head snapped up. Looking down at me was the farthest thing from a tree that could be. Number one, he was human. But he was also gorgeous. He had emerald green eyes with specks of gold in them. He had short and unruly brown hair with a coppery red overtone. Everything about his face was, since a word hasn't been invented yet, Adonis. Straight nose, white teeth, full lips without them being overbearing, and his eyes weren't too far apart. He had muscles that weren't defined but believe me they were there; you can definitely see them in his gray t-shirt. "Look I'm sorry," I said as I pulled myself up, "I wasn't paying attention."

He gave a sarcastic laugh, "Yeah. That's an understatement." He ran his hand through his hair and began to shift from his left foot to his right foot. "Why were you running blindfolded on a trail?"

I bit my lip and looked down at our shoes, "It's silly. You'll think I'm bat-shit crazy."

"Oh hell, now I'm curious," he muttered then sighed, "Just tell me."

"Fine," I gave in, "I was running blindfold just to . . . you know . . . challenge myself, if you will."

As I predicated he laughed, "You're fucking kidding me right?"

I shook my head, "I knew you wouldn't understand." Picking up my bandana I turned around and started running the way back.

"Wait up!"

Fucking. Velvet. Voice.

I slowed down my sprint to a jog but didn't stop. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his figure run up to my side and slowed his pace to match mine. We jogged next to each other for 10 minuets before he gave up and spoke, "Alright. I'm sorry. I do get it, I do. I may be new around here but I understand already that you kind of need to make your own fun."

For the first time since we started running I turned my head to look at him. His jaw was tense and he was looking straight ahead. I stopped in my tracks and busted out laughing. This whole exchange has been so ridiculous. I don't even know his name and we're arguing like we've known each other for years.

Once he realized I stopped he turned around, "What the fuck are you laughing at?"

I straightened myself up, "Our stubbornness. Hell, I don't even know you and here we are just going off at each other like some married couple."

His smile is a thing of beauty. The skin around his mouth wrinkled up a bit when the smile popped out and it was slightly crooked. He shook his head and walked back over to me. He held up his hand, "Edward Masen."

Taking his hand I smiled back, "Bella Swan."

Dropping our hands we stood around a bit awkwardly until he spoke, "So you want to run back together?"

I nodded slowly, "Sure. Why not?" We took off into a steady jog, side by side once again. "So . . . you're new around here?"

"Yeah. My family and I just moved in last Saturday from Chicago. My uncle Carlisle is going to be the new chief of medicine. I start high school on Wednesday."

"High school eh?" I pondered. Edward smiled and nodded. "Then I just might be seeing you around there," I continued.

"But what if I don't want to see you? I mean I've known you for 15 minuets now and for most of that time you've been kind of hostile."

I faked scoffed, "Well aren't you a Chicagoan snob. Around here I'm actually looked upon as having a sweet disposition."

He laughed, "Oh really? And do these people know you like I do?"

"Why yes the do. Some many even claim to say more than you, if that's possible. Its just that they overlook it since my dad is the chief of police."

"Ah, the truth is uncovered," he appeased.

"In a town like this it is all about who you know and who you're related to. Not who you are. Believe me," I sighed.

"Well I know you. Shouldn't that be enough?"

I smacked my lips in doubt, "If only . . ." I looked him up and down, "You're going to have to depend on your looks."

He scoffed, "You're making me feel so shallow. It hurts Bella."

We laughed as we turned the last bend. When I saw the beginning of the trail I shouted, "RACE!" and booked before he could register what I said.

It was a good 500 feet to the beginning and even with my head start he was faster than me. He pasted me with ease and got to the start a good 10 seconds before me. But once I got there, oh man, we we're a sexy sight. All bent over with our hands on our knees, breathing all heavy, our faces all red and sweaty. Oh man, I think I just got chick wood.

"You . . . are . . . a . . . fuck . . . ing . . . cheater," he panted.

"Never . . . mind . . . that. You're . . . one . . . fast . . . son . . . of a . . . bitch," I panted back.

"Thank . . . you?"

We laughed. I kind of like they way our laughs sounded together.

Once we got our breath back we straightened up. "So where are you living these days?" I asked.

Edward wiped off his forehead with his shirt. And the ab gods smiled upon me and gave me a peek of their joyous creation, not to hard and toned, just right. "On Holly Brook, just like a block away," he answered.

"Holly Brook eh? It just so happens that you pass my house to get to your own from right here," I rambled.

"Then it would be crazy and illogical to not walk together," he pondered.

"Well if logic says so . . . " I shrugged.

Smiling we turned and started making our way down the street. "So based on you're 3 days of living here, what do you think of Forks?" I asked.

Nodding slowly in thought he answered, "Small. Rainy. But it has some potential."

"Potential for what?" I puzzled.

"Potential for life."

"Yeah. Cause that wasn't cryptic at all," I rolled my eyes. "Alright. This is me," I nodded towards my house.

"Oh alright then," Edward nodded.

"Unless you're thirsty. I have some bottled water in the kitchen," I suggested.

He smiled, "Well I am quite parched."

I lead the way through the door and in to the kitchen. I motioned to one of the stools at the island counter for him to sit on and made my way to the fridge.

"Nice kitchen you got here," Edward said in order to be polite.

Taking two bottles of water from the fridge I shut the door with my butt and scoffed, "Oh yeah. The peeling yellow paint on the cabinets and the rundown out of date piece of shit appliances really go together."

He took his water and smirked, "Well I wasn't going to say anything."

Shaking my head I took a swig of water. It felt amazing running down my dry throat and into my stomach. Edward took a drink as well and placed his water back on the counter. "So Bella . . . "

"So Edward . . . "

"Can I have you're number?"

I busted out laughing, "You just cut right to the chase don't you?"

He shrugged, "Well I just thought it would be helpful to be able to contact the one friendish type person I've made here."

I laughed and turned to grab my phone from the other counter, "Is that what I – shit! Is that the time?"

"Well that's the clock and they usually tell the time . . . so yes I do believe that is the time," Edward said sarcastically.

"Don't be an ass." I grabbed his wrist and pulled him up. "Look I'm sorry to have to kick you out but –" Signal doorbell, of course. I dropped Edward's hand and ran to the door. "Hey Jasper," I smiled as I threw open the door.

"Hey Isabella," He responded with his dimpled smile. But it faded when he looked beyond my left shoulder. "And random sweaty guy . . .?"

"Oh," I opened the door more and moved to the side for Edward to come up. "We just met on the running trail. He's new around here."

Edward smirked, "Dear Bella here offered me a drink of water before I headed on home. An almost 4 mile run really wares on you." He offered his hand to Jasper, "Edward Masen."

Taking it Jasper put on this like tough guy face, "Jasper Whitlock."

I laughed at Jasper's face. They quickly dropped their hands and we stood around in an awkward silence.

"Well I better head out," Edward blurted out and turned to me. "Thanks for the water. I'll see you around." He turned to Jasper, "Nice to meet you Jasper."

Jasper nodded, "Edward."

With that Edward smiled at me and made his way out the door and down the street. "Hey baby," Jasper smiled and kissed me as soon as Edward was off the porch.

"Hey Whitty," I smirked.

He groaned and touched his forehead to mine, "I hate that name."

"You love it," I protested.

"Secretly yes," he sighed and kissed me once again.

I pulled away, "Alright, come on. I haven't started dinner yet and I'm all sweaty and gross." I went back inside and made my way into the kitchen. "Shut the door behind you."

"I know the drill," I heard Jasper laugh from the hallway. I started taking out all the stuff that I needed to make dinner. "Isabella," Jasper drawled from the doorway, "Go upstairs and freshen up. I'll cook tonight."

I faked scoffed, "Oh _you'll_ cook."

"Of course I can fucking cook," he bragged. "I've cooked for you before and I believe it was, and I quote, "Delicious baby.""

Taking a deep breath I walked over to him, "Would you mind terribly?"

"Course not darlin'," He took the spaghetti sauce from my hand and kissed my forehead. "Now head on upstairs," he smiled and smacked my ass as he walked over to the stove.

I smiled and climbed up the stairs to get to the bathroom. Turning on the shower I stripped off my sweaty clothes and threw them in the hamper. While the water was heating up I checked myself out in my mirror. Made some faces, pushed up my boobs, checked out my ass, took out my pony tail and whip my hair back and forth like my main girl Willow Smith, all the usual stuff.

When I got into the shower I marveled in the warmth. There is something so magical about a shower after a long day. I even have a cute southern guy downstairs cooking me dinner. Right now, my life is going pretty fucking okay.

Jasper and I met on my first day of school during sophomore year. I was in the library for study hall when some guy with blonde hair, gray eyes, and dimples came up and started talking to me. I thought he was cute with his southern drawl, he moved to Forks the year before from Texas. After that he wouldn't leave me alone and he grew on me. The rest is history. Its 2 years later and we're still together.

After I got out, brushed my hair, and got dressed I headed back down to the kitchen. Jasper was crouched over the stove stirring the noodles. Smiling I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around his waist. "It smells good," I sighed.

"Did you expect anything else?" He questioned.

I smiled and kissed the back of his neck. Placing a trail of kisses up to his ear I whispered, "Charlie's working late tonight. And I need to thank you for making me such a wonderful dinner."

Jasper shook his head, "Isabella."

"Turn off the stove," I blew into his ear. When he didn't I reached from behind him and turned the knob. Giving in he turned around and kissed me. Deepening the kiss I guided my hand under his shirt. His moan vibrated through his chest as I slid my hand back down. When we broke the kiss for air I lifted his shirt off and over his head and threw it on the floor. I smiled at him and started kissing his neck. I tasted and kissed my way down his chest and stomach until I got to his waistband. Making quick work of his jeans I slid them off and tossed them aside as well. I began to tug lightly at his boxers when I was stopped.

"Isabella wait!" Jasper exclaimed.

I looked up startled and confused, "What's the problem?"

Offering me his hand he pulled me up off my knees but never looked me in the eye and mumbled, "I think we should see other people."

"What the fuck Jasper?" I shouted.

"Don't you feel like we're stuck in a routine? There's no excitement anymore. Every Monday we have dinner here, watch a movie, fool around on the couch until Charlie comes home, then we watch TV with him. Every Saturday after you get off of work we eat at the dinner, go to a party or the movies, and then we mess around. Every Sunday we go and hangout on the reservation, eat at the bonfire, then screw around. It's been a cycle for 2 years. We're young and life needs to be exciting. We've been like a married couple for years. I'm not happy," He ranted.

I growled, "Get out."

"Fine," he sighed. "Let me just get my clothes and I'll leave."

"No. Get out now," I grunted trying not to lose my temper.

"Isabel—"

I lost it and screamed, "GET THE FUCK OUT!" When he didn't move I rolled my eyes and pushed him out of the door. When he was on the porch I shook my head and slammed the door.

Fuming I turned away but thought better of it and opened the door again. "Oh by the way Jasper. Breaking up with a girl right before she's about to give you head? How fucking gay are you?" I slammed the door in his startled face once again.

I screamed, loud, off key, and violently.

Running to the kitchen I grabbed his shirt and jeans and took them outside. I dropped them into the fire-pit and ran back inside. Opening the cabinet to grab the lighter I saw the picture on the fridge of the two of us at the beach last summer. Grabbing the lighter and the picture I almost tore through the back screen door.

"Burn in hell Jasper Whitlock," I cursed as I lit the picture and dropped it on his clothes.

I silently watched as the items when up in smoke.

Once the fire died out I sighed, "I'm so fucked."

**AN:**

** Thanks for all of your lovely reviews! It makes my day to hear about how you guys love my story. **

** I'll try to update quickly but I can't promise anything. I'm a student and all I ask for is patience. :)**

** -Cynthia (cynmonstrosity) **


	3. Chapter 2: The Confidence

_**Chapter Two**_

"What a fucking dipshit son of a mother fucking bitch. I swear his head is so far up his own asshole that it doesn't even look like it."

Oh Rosalie Hale, her words always make my day.

"Yeah, you're kind of preaching to the choir here Ro," I sighed as I leaned back against one of the bleacher's supports. Rosalie just shook her head and took another drag from her cigarette. Her beauty is one that many have, would, and will go under the knife to try and achieve. God just wanted to punish all of women kind by making Rosalie look like a human angel with her rosy blonde hair always styled with ease, perfect almond shaped eyes with unearthly bright light green irises, slender diamond shaped face with naturally pink cheekbones, baby smooth skin, and full lips but with a slightly overbearing upper lip. The only flaw I can see on her face is that her bottom row of teeth are slightly crooked but not enough to need dental work.

Shaking her head even more while she exhaled the smoke she spat, "I know a guy that can cut off one of his balls." I scoffed and scrunched my face in disbelief. "No seriously," she continued, "He owes me a favor because I let him squeeze my ass in front of his ex. He is such a fucking douche bag but he gets the job done. His sister got screwed over by a guy at her work that afterwards said, "If you don't like it sweetheart then you can just suck my balls." Two days later guy didn't have any balls for her to suck. They put them in a jar with some like vinegar and shit and today they're all white and shriveled up. Shits fucking crazy."

This is what I love about Rosalie. Looks like an angel but talks like a sailor.

Now I don't normally spend my Tuesday mornings under the bleachers watching someone smoke but I had no other option. Jasper (dickhead) is in all my classes and I wasn't ready to face him yet. Which basically left me to Rosalie and Emmett.

Besides Jasper (dickhead), Rose and Em are the only friends I have at Fork's High. I met Emmett about 20 seconds after I parked my big old rust red pickup truck on my first day. I pulled into the parking space, turned off the engine, and was sitting in my seat psyching myself up when BAM some dick in his big ass red jeep slams right into my bumper. "The clouds then opened up and God said, "I hate you Isabella Swan," I muttered before opening the door and getting out.

"What the hell!" I shouted as I slammed the door. The jackass in the jeep pulled into the space next to me and started to get out of the vehicle. "I know that my truck is a piece of shit but it's my piece of shit and I don't need your help in making my piece of shit even more shitty."

The driver of the jeep finally came into my view as he rounded the back of his jeep to survey the damage. Now to say this guy was muscular is an understatement. He was fucking huge. He was basically a stylish white version of a mini Terry Crews with brown curly hair, dimples, white t-shirt, dark jeans, and a deep tan motorcycle jacket.

The guy looked at the bumper of my truck and just gave a deep chuckle. Pushing up his aviator shades to rest on his head he walked toward me stopping about a yard away from me. "How are you doing? I'm Emmett McCarty," he said in a smooth voice with his hand extended towards me.

Oh, he was a suave motherfucker.

"How am I doing? Oh, jut peachy fucking keen," I yelled while I smacked his hand away. "You see it's not only my first day in a new hell school but it just got even better when some ass wipe slammed into my truck not even a minuet after I parked. So on my list of best days ever this is definitely number one. Yep, it has totally replaced my 8 birthday when my mom actually did in fact buy me a pony."

He chuckled again, "You, my new friend, are a feisty little chick. I like that."

"What?" I sighed, "Just apologize to me about my tuck and then I can leave and carry on with my probably going to get even worst day."

"I'm sorry about your trunk's bumper and I will pay for it," he said in monotone.

"Thank you," I moved to return to the cab of my truck but was blocked by his massive hand.

"You didn't let me finish," he mused. "I'll pay for all the work needed if and only if you'll give me a big ol' kiss right here and right now."

I scoffed, "You're kidding me right? You think that I'm so desperate for my shitty car to be fix back into its former shittyness that I would throw myself into a low grade version of prostitution?"

"Of course not. I may be a pig but I wouldn't demean a lady of your self-esteem and spunk. Besides my girl would kill me," he chuckled as he leaned against the bed of my truck. "But I won't pay for Big Rusty here until I learn your name."

I gave one small laugh, rolled my eyes, and opened the truck door. "Bella," I smirked as I pulled my worn leather brown messenger bag from the front cab and slammed the door, "Bella Swan."

Emmett started to laugh, "Like Tinker Bell . . . or more like Tinker Bella."

"And that's my cue to leave," I sighed and began to walk away.

I didn't get far before I heard, "I'll see you later Tink!" being boomed at me. I shook my head while I raised my hand above my head and gave one wave still facing forward.

And so began our friendship and a new nickname.

After that it turned out that Emmett was in almost every one of my classes and our banter turned into a kind of beautiful, smutty, ridiculous friendship that I have learned to cherish.

At lunch that first day Emmett introduced me to Rosalie who asked/conned me into going shopping for 'non-lesbian' clothes that Saturday within 5 minuets. To which I answered by scrunching my eyebrows together with a look of disbelief, grabbing my bag, and leaving the cafeteria. I then adventured to the library for study hall that next period which was where I met Jasper (dickhead).

"You know Bella, I may have something up my sleeve to make you feel better," Rosalie said in her singsong voice with a sly grin.

My head popped right up, "Could it be Mr. Morgan or one of his friends?"

"I'm sad to say that the Captain is out at sea at the moment," she smiled as she rifled threw her bag. "But the Goose has just flown back in this morning from Malibu," Rosalie's grin magnified as she pulled out her twin flasks, Monte and Carlo. Their both plain silver flasks but in a little arts and crafts project Rose and I decided to pursue we rhinestoned a big fancy M on Monte because he's for our fancy sophisticated drinks and painted on a funky C on Carlo since he's for our girly party drinks. Or as Emmett says, his 'if you tell anyone I like these ya'll are dead women' drinks.

"Throw me my main boy Monte," I smiled instantly perking up at the mention of their presence.

Rose tossed me Monte and I greedily took a long drink. The vodka ran down my throat nice and smooth leaving a nice burn in its wake. After a brief pause I took another one. Another pause. Another drink. "Ah. That's the fucking stuff," I sighed and tilted my head back to bask in my newfound haze. I was almost instantly calmed.

"There's nothing like a little sneaky peek during the school day," Rosalie giggled as she sat next to me on the metal bench.

I capped up Monte and put him in the front right pocket of my jeans. "What the hell is wrong with me Ro?" I sighed, "Things were going sooooo great then all of a sudden BAM he didn't fucking want me anymore."

"Honesty plank?" Rosalie asked.

I nodded, "Honesty plank."

We both turned to straddle the bench with our back towards each other and then we lied down on our backs perfectly straight with our arms glued to our sides. Once I felt the top of her head touching my own I exploded, "Do you think it was me? Who am I kidding of course it was me. You want to know why? Because he's fucking perfect."

"Like shit Bella. He is anything but fucking perfect. You are just too damn blinded by your feelings to see what an asshole he is. For one he can't walk past a mirror without looking at himself and fixing his hair. Not to mention that he's a cocky prick beyond all get out." She continued in her country bumpkin impression of dickhead, "What do y'all mean that yous have never tried fried pickles? Now I'm not going to toot my own horn but I've been known to make some of the best darn tootin' fried pickles that Texas had ever done seen. Why if I didn't move up here then I probably could have been famous or something for them like Paula Dean. Oh did I tell ya'll that the last time I was in the big city Seattle some lady from a modeling agency practically darn did corner me on the street and asked me to be a hair model? Boy howdy I was caught off guard but I can't say I was surprised, I mean my hair is more bouncy than Tigger and sleeker than an oil rig."

We busted into laughter. "I fucking love you Ro," I sighed as I calmed down.

"I fucking love you back," she responded.

"But why am I not good enough for him? He said that he felt like we were stuck in a routine and that it wasn't fun anymore basically. But what I don't get is that he never brought it up before that he was bored. If he brought it up I could have changed or been more spontaneous or whatever," I ranted.

Rose grunted, "Stop it! There is nothing wrong with you! It's that asshole who has the problem, not you."

"Do you think that there could be someone else?" I gasped thinking about it.

"Who cares?" she screamed and I felt the metal under me vibrate with movement. Next thing I know my view of the bright cloudy sky was now an upside down aggravated teen girl with her blonde hair falling almost in my eyes. "You know what you need to do?" she continued. "Fuck it. You just need to say fuck it to anything that involves, makes you think about, or is Jasper Asshole Whitlock."

"You're right," I admitted as I rose back into the straddling position. "Fuck it!" I screamed and stood up on the bench. "Fuck him." I sighed and crouched back down to speak to Rose face to face. "I wasted 2 year of my life on that piece of shit. And what does he do? Dumps me out of nowhere with a piss poor excuse. But you know what I say?"

Rosalie smirked and stood up on the bench. "Fuck him," she spat.

"Fuck him," I shouted straightening up next to her.

The bell rang then, signaling lunch. "Thank fuck. I am starving. I could eat a damn horse," Rosalie sighed in relief.

We jumped off the bench and made our way from under the bleachers into the crowed cafeteria on the other side of campus. I opened the glass doors and the second I stepped foot into the building almost every set of eyes were on me. But keeping my head held high and just concentrating on walking in a straight line, we made our way to our usual table where Emmett was already seated.

Rosalie sat in the seat next to him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Well I guess I don't have to worry about telling anyone," I sighed at them and sat down in my own ugly forest green plastic chair across the faux wood table from the two of them.

"Where the hell have you two been?" Emmett asked as he pushed half his sandwich to Rose. "Because I swear to God if I missed another make out session between you two I'm going to fucking cry."

Taking the sandwich Rose smiled, "Bella needed a quick trip to Monte Carlo." She took a bite and said, "And that only happened once during that game of spin the bottle at the reservation."

"But it was hot. Wasn't it Tink?" Emmet winked at me.

"Fuck off," I chuckled and took his unopened blue Gatorade. I unscrewed the cap and took a sip.

Emmett turned serious all of a sudden and said, "Bella. If you want me to, I can corner him in the locker room after gym and just . . . shave his fucking head. Or I can get a couple of my football boys together and we could just bea—"

"None of that will be necessary. I've decided to take a higher road. If he doesn't want to be with me anymore then fuck him," I interrupted his sentence.

"Alright. But what if he tries to talk to you?" Emmett said in a weird voice kind of looking over my shoulder.

"What are you talking a—" I stopped my sentence when I looked over my shoulder and saw Jasper (dickhead) approaching our table. I turned back around gripped the Gatorade bottle.

Rosalie leaned in to whisper to me, "Fuck him."

I nodded at her and finding my confidence stood up and turned to face him as he descended. "Jasper," I spoke without emotion in my voice.

"Isabella, I was hoping to be able to talk to you," Jasper pleaded.

You could hear a pin drop. It seems that everyone was trying to hear what we were saying. Nosy bastards. "Fuck you," I simply stated.

"I admit that last night wasn't exactly how I should have gone on about breaking up with you. And I'm sorry for that. But I'm not sorry for doing it," he explained. "We would have never gone the full distance. I'm just too much for you to handle I guess."

I shook my head and scoffed, "Fuck it." I grabbed the Gatorade from the table and poured it on top of his gold waves. There was a huge response around me as the bottle drained of fluid. There were gasps, laughter, shrieks, hollering, and oooooohhhhhhhssss from every direction. Jasper's gray eyes looked like they were about to explode as blue liquid quickly covered his body. "Hope that's enough for you to handle," I spat at him and took my victory walk out of the cafeteria issuing out some high fives.

That felt ah-fucking-mazing. There was a new adrenaline high combing through my body that was mixing with the nice buzz of the alcohol that was still over me. I was feeling pretty invincible. I mean giggles were bubbling out of my mouth and my feet were skipping and leaping around the hallway.

Turning the southeast corner onto my locker's hallway I slammed into a hard body. "Now Bella, if we continue with this method of meeting then I'm going to have to start wearing some sort of protective gear."

I chuckled, "What are you doing here Edward? I thought you didn't start till tomorrow." If I thought he looked hot in his running gear that doesn't compare to him in jeans and a long sleeve Henley. I wondered if his ass looks as amazing as his legs looked in jeans. His hair was in the same chaos as before but it worked for him.

"Oh I don't. I'm just looking for the bathroom. I was just taking a tour with my aunt, cousin, and apparently the cougar receptionist," he explained.

I gasped, "Mrs. Cope really? She always looked like a sweet old woman."

"Looks can fool you. Cause she was definitely giving me some moves."

I laughed, "Well the restrooms are down the next hallway to your left. And if there's a tampon machine in there than you've gone to far."

"Thanks Ms. GPS," he teased. I smiled and began to walk pass him. "Um hey Bella," he said as we both turned around, "Will you be on the trail this afternoon?"

"I was planning on it. I'm usually there around 4 or so if you'd like to join me."

"Sound great. Maybe I will learn why you are holding out on me," he joked grabbed Monte from my front pocket, "A little afternoon delight B?"

I shrugged, "It was more like morning delight. I've had a shit couple of days."

Edward opened Monte up and raised the flask between us, "Cheers to that." And took a long drink. After a small cough he closed the flask and put it back in my pocket, "I needed that. Now I can go back and fight off Mrs. Cope some more."

I raised my right hand to my eyebrow; "I salute you in your endeavor."

"Thank you solider," he chuckled and turned to walk away.

I bit my bottom lip. Oh yeah. His ass looked absolutely perfect in jeans.

**AN:**

**Oh please, oh please, make my day,**

**And send some reviews my way.**

**- Cynmonstrosity. **


	4. Chapter 3: The Rage

_**Chapter Three**_

Let's fast-forward about a month or so. I'm surviving to say the least. I don't feel as much hatred as I did before for Jasper. But I also haven't really been paying much attention to anything. It's like my brain just kind of turned off to the goings on around me. The days blend together. I go to school, go running, do my homework, cook dinner, go to work, and that's about it except for a few exceptions.

I don't talk to anyone except for Charlie, Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward. They're the only people I trust now, and I'm scared beyond belief about that considering I've only known Edward for a little more than a month. I've tried not to trust him as much as I do but I can't help it. We get along so well it's been almost impossible to not be such good friends so quickly. Since the day he started school we've been two peas in a pod. Peanut butter and jelly. Spongebob and Patrick. A turd and toilet paper. Edward is in all my classes, which is a very great distraction from staring murderously at Jasper. He eats lunch with Emmett, Rosalie, and me. And we go running together almost everyday after school or in the morning.

I emerged from the school and started making my way to my truck daydreaming. Last weekend I partook in watching cheesy musicals with Rosalie and Emmett. I mean how fucking awesome would life be as a musical? Like just walking towards my truck would be so much more exciting. First my steps would turn into a beat then the people around me would start dancing and start singing all acapella-y. I would then do some type of flip, be picked up by some hot guy onto his shoulders, and start singing some totally catchy tune.

"BELLA!"

I was broken out of my daydream and jerked my body around to find the voice. Edward's face was literally inches from mine causing me to jump, "Holy fucking shit Edward!" I leaned against my truck for support.

He chuckled, "About damn time. I've been calling for you for a solid minuet." He smirked, "Was it that jello fantasy again?"

"No," I spat, "And don't act like a pool filled with jello wouldn't be the shit." I adjusted my bag and defended myself, "This one was actually a vision of my life as a kick ass musical."

"That would explain the little steppy jump twirl you had going on," Edward nodded.

I shook my head before asking, "What can I do for you my good sir?"

"Well you see my Volvo is in the shop, so I need a ride."

"Oh and you thought," I continued in my guy voice, "Hey my friend Bella doesn't have any place to be, I'll bum a ride from her. Boobies, rock and roll, sex, rubbing dirt in stuff, vaginas, action movies, tits."

He scoffed, "What the fuck was that last part?"

"You know, the guy mind. Every 30 seconds or so that's what guys think about," I explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

His forehead wrinkled in disbelief, "That's oddly correct."

I gave a wink and turned into gangster Bella, "It's what I do baby boo." It was out before I thought about it. Gangstella was only funny or cute when drunk. Regular Bella sometimes forgets that.

Nodding slowly Edward said, "So . . . I'm just going to get in the truck now."

"That would be for the best." I replied awkwardly.

We both looked away from each other and shuffled into the cab of my truck. I got situated in my seat and grabbed my keys from the pocket. "Now don't be intimidated by the awesome horse power on Rusty here," I joked.

Shutting his door he laughed and said sarcastically, "Oh I'll try my hardest."

Sticking out my tongue at him I inserted the key into the ignition. I turned the key once and nothing. "Shit." I turned it again and nothing. "YOU!" I shouted and stuck my index finger at him, "You did this! JINX!"

"Don't go pointing that thing at me!" He yelled and smacked it away.

I couldn't help it. "GIGGITY!" I busted out laughing.

"This is no time for your weird 'that's what she said' equivalent."

"It's not weird. It's Family Guy."

"Just try the truck again."

I muttered, "Fine, hard-ass."

"Buns of steel baby," he gave me a gorgeous crooked smile.

Shaking my head I turned my key again and I thankfully heard the engine ignite. "Score one for the bitch who drives you Rusty!" I laughed with pride and high fived the dashboard.

"Why am I friends with you?" Edward questioned out loud.

I scoffed, "Because I'm fucking awesome. And how many people can say that they met their new best kick ass friend when she ran into him blindfolded."

"It is a good story," he contemplated.

The radio started up and started blasting *NSYNC. "Fucking A," I smiled. Edward looked like he wanted to die when I started dancing around in my seat and singing along,_ "I remembered you told me. That I made you believe in, no man no cry. And baby that's fine." _

I'm pretty sure that I looked like I was having a seizure to anyone else but, frankly my dear, I didn't give a damn. *NSYNC was, is, and forever will be the shit.

I heard Edward sighed and gave in to the awesome power of *NSYNC, "What the hell?" and joined me in my loud singing and seat dancing.

"_Every little thing I do. Never seems enough for you. You don't want to loose it again. But I'm not like them. Baby, when you finally, get to love somebody. Guess what. It's gonna be ME!" _

I was laughing so hard we couldn't breathe as I clenched my stomach. Nothing beats Edward singing like Timberlake. He even got his hips moving a bit with his face scrunching up along with them. I rolled over leaning my head against his shoulder still laughing like a banshee. Eventually laughter turned to giggling, giggling to grinning, grinning to smiling, smiling to sighing. Edward smells really good. Like sunshine, leather, citrus, and wood mixed together. Like amazingness.

That's when I realized how close Edward was to me. I looked up to see his face as he looked down. I never really noticed just how green his eyes are till that moment. And how bright those gold flakes were against that emerald green.

We were startled out of our gaze and back to our own seats by a huge thumping that shook the truck. A muffled voice yelling followed it in a chant, "Party! Party!" as more thumps continued.

"Dick," I muttered as I turned around and saw out of the cab's back window Emmett jumping up and down in the bed of my truck shouting. "Emmett! You cock breath! What the fuck are you doing!?" I screamed out the back window after sliding the middle part open.

"Party! Party! Party! Party!" Emmett shouted even louder and pressed his ass to the window where my head was moments before. Edward laughed as I glared at the smushed ass cheeks against the window.

_Tap tap._

Both Edward and I jumped at the sharp sound and turned to see Rosalie at my driver's side window smiling and motioning for me to roll down the window. I shook off the shock and cranked down the window. "Well my, my, my, what do we have here?" Rosalie smirked, "Bella and Edward . . . in Bella's car . . . _alone_ . . . listening to . . . *NSYNC?"

I gave a quick look to Edward who shrugged and turning back to Rosalie I nodded slowly, "Well . . . they are the shit."

Rose gave a little laugh, "Fuck to the yeah you guys." Emmett was still bouncing and screaming in the truck's bed. "So have you heard about the party tonight?" she continued.

"Oh! Is there a party tonight? Would have _never _guessed," Edward said sarcastically as he pointed his thumb at Emmett.

Rosalie pursed her lips, "You better watch it bub. You're still on probation. Belly and Sasquatch my have welcomed you in with arms wide open to the group but you still have to get my full approval. And I'm a fucking tuff bitch."

"But you're so beautiful Rosalie. There's no way you're a bitch." Edward tried.

"Flattery gets you nowhere," Rosalie said icily and turned back to me, "Mike Newton's parental units are in Seattle for a week looking at locations for another store so, being the fucking douche bag teenager that we all know he is, Mike is having a 'small' get together. And there is no way in hell that we are missing it. Party of the year!" She gave a little yell from excitement.

For the first time in about a month I actually felt excited about something. Mike Newton's parties have been famous for 3 things; drinks, mistakes, and debauchery. The phrase 'what happens at Mikes, stays at Mikes' has been a common one since sophomore year. "Fuck yeah! A Mike party sounds like just what I need." I smiled. I then turned to Edward, "You're going to come with us right?"

He rubbed the back of his head in thought for a moment and sighed, "Sounds like fun but I can't. I've already committed to something in Port Angeles."

"Oh well damn. Sorry to hear that Masen," Rosalie said with fake sincerity. "So Bella, pre-party party tonight?!"

Ignoring her I spoke to Edward, "What's up with you? Whenever I ask you to hang out or something past running you're always busy going to Port Angeles. You have to come to Mike's tonight. You haven't been officially welcomed to Forks without going to a Mike party."

"I know and I'm sorry. I just . . . I need to go to Port Angeles a lot for . . . reasons," Edward said a bit awkwardly.

I nodded in understanding, "Alright. I get it. You don't have to tell me. But if you get to have a secret then so do I."

Edward gave a little laugh, "You have a secret? You're the worst secret keeper ever. Not 2 weeks ago I told you about my fear of birds and within the hour both Rosalie and Emmett knew. And I didn't appreciate Emmett chasing me around dressed like a bird."

Rosalie laughed, "Did you see it on Youtube yet? I sent you the link on facebook."

"Yeah, I did," Edward sighed. "Ten thousand hits already? Seriously?!"

"We're sending it into AFV. I'm going to meet me some Tom Bergeron," Rosalie said with a shit-eating grin.

"What do you mean I can't have a secret? I can have a secret," I interjected.

Rosalie sighed, "Oh sweetie, you suck at secrets. It's thanks to you that everyone knows about my tattoo. Including my mom!"

"Does she really Bella?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, she has a small peacock on her hip," I admitted.

"Oh shit. You really can't keep a secret," Edward chuckled.

My mouth gaped opened and hit him in his arm, "How dare you trick me!" I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms in front of my body, "It just so happens I do have a secret."

"It's not a secret that you don't have a secret Bella," Rose laughed.

"Damn you Rosalie Lillian," I huffed.

"Pre-party party is at your house just for bringing in the middle names Isabella Marie," Rosalie lend in a kissed my cheek, "See you at 6 hot cheeks." I took my hand and rubbed furiously at the spot where her lips touched to get it off. Rosalie smiled then turned to look at Emmett who is still hopping and chanting on the truck. "Grizzly bear! Time to roll out!" she shouted as she started walking away. Emmett stopped immediately, planted a big old loud kiss on the back window, hopped off the bed, and ran off after his girl being the pussy whipped man he is.

I rolled up my window and looked over at Edward. "To the trail?" I asked.

"Hell to the yeah Isabella Marie," he said with his crooked smile. I shook my head with a smile and backed out of the parking space.

* * *

><p><em>Honk, hooooooooooooooooooooooooonk<em>

Rosalie put on the last stroke of her lipstick in revolution red and smacked her lips. "That's Emmett," she smiled as she twisted, capped, and threw her lipstick back into her purse.

_Hoooooooooonk, honk, honk, hoooooooooooooooonk, honk_

"Impatient little fucker isn't he?" I questioned as I slipped on my neon yellow converse high tops that I know would look banging under all the black light in Mike's basement.

_Honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, hooooonk, hoonk. _

Rosalie crossed the room toward my window, "I got this." She opened the glass then stuck the top half of her body out of it. Moments later I hear the window shut and Rose walking back to the body mirror fluffing her hair.

"How did you make him stop?" I asked as I put in the diamond studs that my mother Renée and her husband Phil sent me for my last birthday.

Smirking at her reflection Rose smoothed out an imaginary flaw on her eye makeup and nonchalantly said, "Oh, I just flashed him some boob and he stopped."

Laughing I laid back on my bed, "Someone is going to be a bit of a slut tonight isn't she?"

"Please, it was just some tasteful side boob," she scoffed and laid down next to me, "If anyone is being a slut tonight it should be you!"

I gave her a look that simply said 'girl you must be tripping'.

"I'm serious!" she continued. "This is the first party that you've been single. You've grieved, sulked, got angry, and basically shut down. The next step is to put yourself out there and see what happens."

"Ugh," I sighed, "Do I have to? Wouldn't you just settle for some fun underwear?"

"Only if you promise to flash them to a hot guy."

"Challenge accepted," I said in my best Barney Stinson impression from How I Met Your Mother. Rosalie laughed and pulled me off of the bed towards my wardrobe. She picked out the craziest pair of panties that I own, forced them on me, and then we made our way towards Emmett's jeep.

On the way to Mike's house Emmett blasted his favorite rap station while every time the words drink, patron, or bitch were said Rose and I took a swig from Carlo and Monte the flasks. Needless to say by the time we actually arrived at the party Rose and me were already half drunk and Em was more than ready to catch up. The second he threw the jeep into park on the street her reach over and grabbed Carlo out of my hands. "The party has officially started," he toasted as he took a very long drink out of the flask.

The three of us got out of the car and headed down the long polished driveway towards of home of Mike Newton. We could already hear the bumping of the bass and the hum of the treble of the stereo. The Newton household is one of the only mansions in Forks. Not only do the Newton's own a successful chain of sporting good stores but they also happen to be from old money. So yeah, the house is pretty banging.

Once inside the house we grabbed some drinks and made our way around dancing and talking with people. As more alcohol was pumping threw my system the more everything became a blur and the funnier everyone seemed to become.

Now I don't remember everything that happened that night but some things I do remember vaguely. I remember dancing with Tyler and making out with Angela for some reason. I also remember getting up on the pool table and pulling down my jeans to show everyone my neon ruffled panties. I remember jumping off the pool table into Mike's arms and giving him a big kiss on the cheek.

But I do remember very clearly when I looked up to see Jasper walking down the basement stairs with a small pale girl under his arm.

My hazy vision turned red.

I remember Jasper kissing her once they reach the bottom of the stairs and leading her over to one of the makeshift bars.

I remember rage.

I can vaguely recall talking to Emmett then leaving the party and starting a very long walk home.

While walking down the long line of cars that's when I saw it. I saw the vomit green 1998 Toyota Tachoma that I hated.

I then sashayed over to it nonchalantly and looked inside.

The only things that ran through my mind were:

What a fucking idiot.

He left his car _unlocked_.

This is a sign. God is on my side tonight.

And well you guys know the rest.

I broke in and looked around. I found the condom and stabbed it a dozen times with the needle. I put the condom back and got out of the car.

I then stumbled a half an hour back towards my house where I passed out on my bed.

I never even gave a second thought to what I did for the next two weeks.

**AN:**

**I loved the reviews I got for the last chapter. All 3 of them! ;) Thank you so much to Kgunter34 and teambellaedward for reviewing.**

**And a special thank you to InMyOwnSpecialWay whose review made my day and inspired me to work faster on this chapter. And who also rhymed in her review, haha :). **

**Please, if you like this story please please review and super please please please tell your friends.**

**Another thank you to all the reviewers and to everyone who has the story on alert and on their favorites! **

**All I ask for is a little patience for my writing. I want this story to be epic! **

**-cynmonstrosity **


	5. Chapter 4: The Guilt

_**Chapter Four**_

It's amazing to think how so much can change in just a simple bathroom visit. But that's life for you. You're walking to the movies, get mugged, and become paralyzed. BAM life changed. You go to Africa to help some children and get AIDS. BAM life changed. You're walking down the street and meet your true love at a newsstand. BAM life changed. I mean what if you went the other way or you didn't take your phone so you had to turn around and when you got there they were gone? That's what fascinates me about fate, on any day, you could step out the front door, and your whole life could change forever.

I was in biology when, ironically, nature called. I asked Mr. Banner to be excused and started making my way to the bathroom. "Don't you want me baby?!" I sang as I walked. On the way to school this morning this extremely cool 80's anthem was on the radio and I haven't been able to get it out of my head since. "Don't you want me? Ohhh."

"I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar!" I kicked opened the door to the girls restroom and belted the rest, "That much is true!" I continued to hum as I made my way to the first stall. I locked the door, dropped the pants, and popped a squat. Through the humming I swore I heard either a whimper or a sniffle. Stopping the music I looked under the stall walls to see if I can see another pair of feet. Sure enough 2 stalls to the left was a pair of extremely fashionable light brown leather motorcycle booties with gold embellishments. I will admit I was a little jealous of those awesome shoes.

As I was finishing up and pulling my jeans back up I heard the weird whimper/sniffle once again. Obviously whoever is in here doesn't want me to know that they're in here. I cursed my curiosity. I washed my hands, dried them, opened the door, and took a couple of steps as the door closed giving the illusion that I left.

Sure enough, as soon as the door closed full blown crying erupted from that stall. And because I'm such a goddamned good person I went over to investigate. I knocked on the door, "Hello? Is everything alright in there?"

An embarrassed weary high-pitched voice answered back after clearing their throat a couple times, "Oh I'm fine. Thank you."

I shook my head, "You may be behind a door but I can tell that's bullshit. Just please open up the door, maybe talking to someone will help."

"Um, no. I don't know you. I don't want to bother you with my problems," the voice responded.

"But since I don't know you that makes me impartial so I can't judge," I tried to reason. I waited a few long moments for an answer but it didn't come. "Please talk to me. I can't just leave you in here. It's against my nature. Its because of those damn good values that my parents instilled in me."

After another few silent moments the stall door opened enough for a vaguely familiar looking attractive pale girl with short black hair in a mod style and very intense blue slightly bloodshot eyes to be seen. "You won't judge me?" she sniffled.

"No," I firmly replied, "I'm just a stranger who wants to help." The girl closed her eyes and stepped aside so I could see in the stall. My eyes immediately landed on the white plastic stick on top of the toilet. "Oi," I sighed.

"I peed on the thing like an hour ago," she said sheepishly, "I've just been to scared to look at it."

She was on the verge of tears again so I thought quickly, "Do you want me to look at it for you?" She bit her lip hard in thought. I took pity on her; she obviously is too far in over her head and had to make to many decisions to quick. But eventually she closed her eyes and shook her head yes. I put my hand on the sad girls shoulder to show her my support as I moved past her to look at the test. Saying a little prayer for her, I picked up the plastic stick.

"Shit," I sighed.

She covered her face with her hands and began to sob uncontrollably, "I'm going to have to push Jasper Whitlock's baby out of my vagina. I've seen the pictures, his head was fucking huge as a baby!"

That's when it all clicked together and when I mumbled to myself, "Mother fucking shit."

* * *

><p>Half an hour later Alice and I were sitting in the empty auditorium. We were in almost complete darkness as we sat in the upper balcony of seats. After I read the results, and after she cried some more and told me her name, I convinced her to eat some food. Not wanting to eat in the crowed cafeteria, I told her to wait for me in the auditorium while I got us some food. We've been eating in silence for a few minuets now. I've been letting her think about things before talking some more.<p>

I felt my phone vibrating. It's been going crazy since I didn't show up at lunch, all texts and calls from Rosalie, and one text from Edward. I haven't looked at them but Rosalie's are probably all threats and swears while Edward's is probably just simply wondering where I am. Alice needed my full attention, so I just left them all unanswered.

After a few more silent moments passed by before I couldn't help myself, "So what exactly happened? I mean I know what happened, but I mean how did it get created exactly? Were you two using protection?"

"That's the part that I don't get," Alice shook her head and looked down at her hands, "we used a condom each time."

Shit.

"Well maybe one of them broke or it was a faulty one. You know condoms are only 97% effective. Maybe you're just that three percent," I rambled.

Alice sighed, "I guess that's it. I'm just the unlucky three."

"Unlucky? You're going to have a beautiful baby in about 9 months time," I tried to argue to make her feel better. "Sure this isn't the ideal time that you probably wanted a baby but its happening. And that baby is going to be adorable and it's going to have great parents. Jasper is a good guy, he wouldn't leave this baby by itself."

Alice turned to look at me with new tears filling her eyes, "Why are you helping me out? I mean most people, if they heard me in the bathroom crying, would have just left or found out what was wrong say sorry and then left. But not you, of all people, and don't think I don't know who you are, you're Bella Swan. You're his ex-girlfriend. You should be happy that he knocked up his new girlfriend."

What do I say to that? Oh, I just care because I may be the one who caused you to get pregnant? Hell. To. The. No. "I just know that if I were going through something like this that I would need someone."

"Thank you," she said in the most honest voice I've ever heard. "I . . . I just don't know how to tell my parents."

"You should just tell them, and soon. Like ripping off a band-aid," I offered.

"Or the pore cleansing strip" she rebutted.

"Or the wax strip."

"The duct tape."

"The infected piercing."

Alice pauses for a second and opens her mouth but nothing comes out, "Shit. I'm out." Then she did something that I thought she wouldn't be doing for a long time, she laughed. Which in turn caused me to laugh. "Can you come to dinner at my house and help tell my family? I just feel like I need you there for support."

I didn't know what to say, but I felt a weird obligation to help her through this since there's a chance I'm the reason she's in this situation and just maybe because we've fucked the same guy and that makes us Eskimo sisters. "Yeah, I'll go to dinner," I smiled at her.

She reached over, touched my hand, and gave me a closed mouth smile.

**NOTE TO SELF; INSERT PAGE BREAK HERE. THANK YOU FUTURE SELF, LOVE PAST SELF.**

_Where did you go? An alien abduction in Forks!? Actually it's more likely that you were kidnapped and are being raped by Big Foot. Are we still on to run after school? –E_

"Hey Bella. Do you think that we can just ditch for the rest of the day?" Alice asked once she finished chewing her last bite of sandwich distracting me from my phone and Edward's text.

"Sure, to hell with Trig," I agreed postponing my response to Edward. "What do you have in mind?"

She placed a hand on her stomach and began lightly rubbing it, "Can we go to a park or something? So I can watch the moms."

I smiled, "That's a great idea. We can leave as soon as I send one quick text." Alice nodded in approval and started gathering up her stuff.

_Say what you may about him, but Sasquatch is a tender and gentle lover. Sorry I can't go running today, I have a dentist appointment that I forgot about so I had to leave. But I'll see you tomorrow. : ) –B _

* * *

><p>We didn't get to Alice's house till about 6:45 that night. She had me circle the block about 13 times before letting me park a block away from it. "You ready to go?" I asked quietly. All Alice did was nod slightly and opened the truck's door. I followed her down the street and around the corner towards the house. She turned and stopped in the middle of the street to stare at what I assumed was her house.<p>

The house was beautiful. It was built in the style of a Queen Anne Victorian with cream bricks and siding against dark brown wood. On the porch was a swing and a couple of rocking chairs. The garden surrounding the property was lush and beautiful with different textures, shapes, and colors. This house was a made-for-TV movie's wet dream.

Alice led me to the front porch and slowly opened the front door, "Hello? I'm home. I brought a friend for dinner, I hope that's alright."

A woman of petit shape with long straight caramel brown hair wearing a plum sweater over a black pencil skirt with a black belt over the sweater from what I assumed was the kitchen appeared, smiling kindly, and started making her way towards us. "Of course it's alright dear. You know I make enough food for two families," she answered in a type of airy soft voice. "Now close that door your father isn't paying for us to heat the entire neighborhood." The woman turned her attention to me while Alice shut the door. "Hello I'm Alice's mother Esme, it's so nice to have you joining us for dinner . . . " she trailed off.

I just stared at her waiting for her to finish her sentence before realizing that she was waiting for me to finish it for her, "Oh I'm Bella Swan. It's nice to meet you Mrs. Cullen."

She took my hand and shook it giving a light laugh. "My dear, please call me Esme. It makes me feel so old being called that other name," adding in a fake shudder, "Welcome to our home." Esme was a very nice looking lady with a friendly white smile, very vibrant green eyes, makeup done flawlessly, and her face held the same bone structure as Alice's. Everything about her was flawless. Not just her, but her house too, perfectly cleaned and styled modern yet elegant. It's like she's straight from Wisteria Lane by way of the Stepford Wives club.

"Alice take her coat while I go and finish setting the dinning room," Esme nicely snapped at her daughter before she turned and walked back down the hall.

I just gapped at her as she walked away and took off my coat. "Is she always like that?" I asked.

Shaking her head Alice replied, "Oh you mean Ms. Peachy Keen Sunshine from her Ass Country Club Benefit Host?" as she took my jacket and hung it up behind her. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Well shit," I stated simply. Alice nodded in agreement and motioned for me to follow her down the hall. She pointed out different rooms and things on the way to wherever we were headed. Like I said, the house is fucking perfect. Not a thing out of place and every room goes together in design. It's like the love child of Ethan Allen and Pottery Barn.

Stopping at a dark oak wooden door Alice said, "And this is my father's den," before knocking lightly on the door. I hear a low 'come in' from behind the door. As she opened the door the strong smell of cigars wafted in my nose. She opened the door enough for both of us to see inside the room but she didn't enter through the threshold, "Hi Dad, this is my friend Bella Swan," and me being an idiot put my hand up in a sort of non-swaying wave with a smile. "She's going to be joining us for dinner."

The man in the dark den looked up from a tattered old book and gave me a once over. He had a smooth angular face with short blond hair in a groomed fashion. It appears as if his nose was once broken and he has the same intense blue eyes as his daughter. "Welcome Bella," his voice was deep and had a tinge of rasp to it, "I trust that your mother approves of this Alice? You know how she hates being caught off guard." Waiting for his answer he picked up the glass of scotch from the table and took a sip.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Alice's head start to hang as she replied, "She seemed alright with it. She said that she always cooks way to much anyway." Mr. Cullen just sighed and took another drink. The silence quickly filled the room with a tense atmosphere for a few prolonged moments.

Esme's voice sounded from the other side of the house stating that dinner was ready breaking the silence. Alice whispered in relief, "Thank God."

I was lead back to a warm and welcoming dinning room and was motioned to sit next to Alice at a table full of food. It looked like roast beef with gravy, mash potatoes, stuffing, green beans, salad, rolls, and rice. "Bella, honey, you eat meat don't you? I'm sorry that I don't have a more vegetarian dinner if you don't," Esme asked as she poured herself and her husband some red wine.

"Oh just try and stop me from eating some of that meat," I joked back earning a small chuckle from Esme and a look of indifference from Mr. Cullen.

"Where's Ducky, Mom?" Alice wondered as she started putting some slices of the roast beef on my plate.

Esme finished her sip of wine before waving it off, "I'm sure that traffic is just bad."

As we ate the only conversation was Esme talking to Mr. Cullen with Alice only picking at her food. I knew it was her nerves; I wouldn't want to be telling these people that I was pregnant.

All of a sudden Esme turned her attention towards me, "So Bella, tell me about yourself. Would I know your parents?"

I finished chewing the piece of meat that was in my mouth before answering, "Well my parents are divorced actually. I was living with my mother in Phoenix until 2 years ago when I decided to move in with my father, Charlie. He's the police chief."

"Well isn't that exciting, a police officer. What made you decide to move in with your father?" She asked before taking another sip out of her second glass of wine.

"I just needed a change of scenery. I was 16 and I never really liked the desert. Then my mom remarried, so I figured it was a now or never sort of thing," I spoke nonchalantly as I started cutting up some green beans.

Esme just nodded as if she understood, "How did you and Alice meet? It's so nice to have Alice's first friend over."

I looked over at Alice wondering how to answer this exactly. But she was just pushing her mash potatoes around on the plate looking at her lap. I opened my mouth to answer but the sound of the front door opening and closing cut me off. "Hey, I'm sorry I'm late Aunt Esme," I heard a strangely familiar voice call out. I whipped my whole body around to see the opening of the dinning room just as none other than Edward walking in. "The traffic coming back from Port Angeles was just a pain in my –" that's when he spotted me, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Esme sounded offended enough for the two of us, "Edward Anthony Masen. That is rude. Bella is Alice's guest."

Edward opened in mouth in disbelief and looked back at me. "Well helloooooooooooooo Ducky," I smirked. I swear I saw a tinny tiny wee little bit of a smile before he apologized to Esme and took his seat across the table from me.

Well this is an interesting turn of events.

Slowly we started going back to eating when Esme spoke, "So where were we? Oh yes, I was wondering how you two girl's met. Alice, you've been quiet, why don't you tell us?"

Alice looked over at me for help; I just nodded my head once to let her know that it was now or never. She sighed and spoke up to her family, "We actually met today in the bathroom. I was in there crying when she offered me a friend to talk to."

Esme finished pouring her third glass of wine and asked with a faked interest, "Why were you crying Alice?"

"Because Mom," Alice spoke in a new bold tone of voice, "I'm pregnant."

I heard Edward choking on his food and Esme spit her wine back into the glass. But the loudest noise was Mr. Cullen dropping his silverware. After a few moments everyone's eyes were on him. The look on his face could make milk cuddle and the Devil himself go in to hiding. "Who is the father?" He demanded as his face started turning red with anger.

Losing all the boldness that was once previously in her voice Alice barely spoke, "Jasper Whitlock," loudly enough for everyone at the table to hear. Edward turned his gaze from Alice towards me with a questioning look, obviously recognizing the name.

"Are you going to keep this . . . thing?" Mr. Cullen asked angrier than before if that was possible.

Esme, Edward, and I remained quiet. There was nothing to be done to help at this moment. "Yes," Alice stated, her voice rising slowly. "I can't abort my baby. I believe it's a living human being even if it's just in its early stages. I never want to look at myself as a murderer. Besides it would be incredibly selfish of me to give this baby a chance at a life and then take it away."

Mr. Cullen spoke loud and clear, "Then you're out of this house."

"Carlisle . . ." Esme spoke in a shocked hushed tone.

Alice just nodded, "So be it. I'll just go and pack a bag. I'll come back another time to get the rest of it." And with that she left the room. I looked towards Edward's shocked and confused eyes for a few seconds before exiting after her. As I followed her up the stairs I heard the sounds of more muffled yelling.

Once in her room Alice slammed the door and started just throwing clothes and items in a duffle bag she grabbed from the closet. "Alice, come and stay with me. I'm sure my Dad won't mind as long as you clean up after yourself and don't totally mess up the bathroom schedule," I offered. I'm the only friend that isn't Jasper that she has in the area and I don't think she's ready to run to him with her problem yet.

Stopping from her frantic packing Alice turned to me with tears in her eyes. In the blink of an eye she was across the room and squeezing the life out of me. I hugged her back while she sobbed, "Thank you . . . thank you so much, Bella. For everything."

Little does she know that I'm probably the reason _for _everything.

**AN:**

**Hello, hello!**

**I know that I'm late in updating and I'm sorry. I've just started college and things haven't been really excellent. But I won't bore you with all of that. I'm trying to write more but my school work comes first. But remember that I'm always working on the next chapter and planning out the rest of the story! **

**So tell me what you think about it and drop me a comment please!**

**Having a hopeful outlook!**

**-cynmonstrosity **


	6. Chapter 5: The Acceptance

_**Chapter Five**_

Sunny days are few and far in between in this small town of Forks. So when those days do in fact come around it's only natural for all of the town's creatures and occupants to go out an enjoy the sunlight. Sitting in the bed of my truck I looked out and try to find the little frame of Alice as she walked over towards Jasper's truck where he and his friends were congregated.

After leaving her house last night Alice refused to talk about or even look at the house as we passed it. She was much more curious about how I knew Edward, what I thought about her mother's cooking, what my dads like, and basically anything else that she could think of that didn't pertain to what just happened. I humored her and kept the conversation flowing as I drove the short distance to my house.

Charlie loves her. I mean if she wasn't underage and he didn't have his new girlfriend Sue, I'm pretty sure that I would have a new mommy right now. It wasn't a problem at all to convince him to let her stay with us in the mean time. I just let Alice do her magic with small talk, she gets Charlie under her spell, and then we casually let it slip that she needed a place to stay for a couple of weeks. Then he wouldn't hear about her staying anywhere else. Even went as far as offering her his bed. To which I politely declined for her saying that my double size bed was big enough for the two of us.

Once Charlie finally let her go so we could go to bed Alice's mood turned back again. After we both showered and were in bed I convinced her to tell Jasper the next day. She reluctantly agreed as we drifted off to sleep.

Today at school I couldn't help but look over at Jasper across the room all day. He looked so happy and carefree talking to Tyler. It's weird to know that someone's whole life is going to change in just a few hours and they have no clue. And also you're still beyond mad at them because they were your best friend and you thought that things in your relationship couldn't be going any better when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, they dump you. Next to me Edward was giving Jasper the same look of sympathy and anger that I was sending myself.

Edward, himself, hasn't talked to me all day about the whole 'me and Alice are now friends and roommates' thing. We've been talking but about nothing in particular just the normal shit that comes to our minds. You know the usual, "You know who I miss? Ben Stiller. When the hell is he going to make another GOOD movie? Ever since Zoolander, his greatest movie _ever_, his movies have been getting worse and worse," to, "Do you think that animal's have threesomes and orgies?" and, "Andy Samberg is so funny. I think I would go gay for him if he asked."

At lunch I opted to eat with Alice in the auditorium again because she didn't want to see Jasper until she was ready to tell him. Luckily for her she's only a junior so during the day her schedule doesn't cross over with his. As it turns out Alice and Jasper met an hour before he came over to break up with me at the gas station. I politely kept my mouth shut at this new development believe it or not. I don't have the time to deal or dwell on the past at the moment. Even if she does in fact have same horrible taste in men as I do, I can't help but like her a little bit. She's optimistic, out-going, and a little weird like the rest of my friends. Plus, when you go through a thing like this whole pregnancy debacle, you can't help but learn to kind of like that person.

As I watch Alice now, as she approached Jasper, I couldn't help but be a little proud of her. She was walking with a new confidence. The girl I met in the bathroom yesterday wouldn't have been able to tell him, let alone her parents. I can't help but think that I am apart of the reason for that new attitude. Maybe I bring something out of her that she never knew was inside of her before. And I feel like that was confirmed as Alice finally got there, said one thing, and all the guys around Jasper practically disappeared.

"Isabella Ma-fucking-rie Swan!" I heard being screamed at me while the truck started shaking. Breaking away from Alice and Jasper my gaze turns towards a very pissed off Rosalie shaking the bed of the truck. "I demand an honesty plank! I need to know what the hell is wrong with you lately?! You haven't been answering any of my damn texts or phone calls! Not to mention you've been fucking ditching Emmett, Edward, and I for _Alice Cullen_ of all people! I mean come _on!_"

I shook my head at her, "It's not my place to tell."

Rosalie gave a very dramatic sigh, "For fuck's sake Bella. Are you trying to have a secret again? Shit, just move on."

"No," I was getting a little frustrated at her. "It's just not my secret to tell."

"Oh," she exclaimed as she crossed her arms, "It's the little replacement's secret."

I just gave in, "Look Ro, you'll know soon enough. Okay?"

"Fine . . ." she uncrossed her arms. "You know she's fucking Jas—"

"I know!" I cut her off before mumbling, "Believe me . . . I know."

Rosalie just shook her head at me and spat, "Keeping you're friends far and you're enemies closer Swan," before walking away towards Emmett's Jeep.

I groaned in frustration. I've always known that Rosalie is a very jealous human being. Emmett can't even dare ask any girl what time it is without Rosalie giving him hell about it. But I never thought that she would be so jealous about me having another girlfriend. I mean she calls Edward a girl all the time and she doesn't really seem jealous about me hanging out with him. It has been rude of me to be ignoring her texts and calls. Ugh, I can't think about that right now. I had a bigger problem on my hands, and she's going to get bigger and bigger as the months progress. Shit. I've ruined Alice's life and all Rosalie cares about is that I haven't been answering her texts for a whole day. Alice needs me now, I'll just . . . FUCK. Alice.

I whipped my head back around towards Alice and Jasper. Holy shit. She just ripped it off like a band-aid. Jasper is kneeling on the pavement looking utterly distraught and pulling his hair by the roots. Alice was kneeling next to him, tears down her face, cupping the side of his face, and whispering things in his ear. People around them were staring but they were in their own little crashing down world.

"Alice told me about everything," I heard Edward's voice as he sat next to me in the truck bed. "How you found her in the bathroom."

I sighed and pulled my gaze away from the couple on the ground and towards the guy next to me who looks like he didn't get any sleep last night. "You're making it sound like I found her actually having the shortie and I delivered it."

Edward wasn't hearing it though, "Thank you for helping her. It means a lot to me. Usually I'm the one that has the help her through things. But . . . I can't . . . this time. I don't have the same parts that are needed to help her through this."

"So . . . you're saying that I can help her because I'm a girl and I have a vagina," I spoke loudly in order to get it past that he wasn't making any damn sense.

"NO!" Edward exclaimed, "God no. Alice doesn't have a vagina as far as I'm concerned. I meant that . . . I know that it's awkward since he's your ex-boyfriend. But it also means that you understand what she's going through even more than just some other random girl."

I didn't want to hear it anymore. I don't deserve all of these thank you's that I've been getting lately. "You're welcome," I said unemotionally to get him off my back.

Edward nodded in thought, "It's still really weird though. _Why_ are you helping her?"

"If it helps, I didn't know who she was in the bathroom when I found her," I replied truthfully. "I just heard a person in need, so I helped. It was just me being a damn good human being."

Not wanting to talk anymore I turned my gaze back towards Alice and Jasper. They were now standing wrapped in each other's arms whispering some more. Next thing I felt was surprising. I felt Edward's body lean into mine and press him lips to my right temple in a kiss whispering, "Thank you, Bella."

* * *

><p>"Bella, he is being so supportive," Alice spoke as she was cutting up some of the vegetables for the salad. "He's offering to pay for everything. I'm going over to his house for dinner to tell his parents on Friday."<p>

I just nodded to let her know that I'm listening as I worked on the seasoning for the pork chops.

"He's been texting me all these names that he likes," Alice sighed happily and picked up her phone cause it vibrated again, "Autumn Rose and Luke Garrett."

Giving her a small closed mouth smile I shoved the pork chops into the oven. It's not that I'm not happy about this wonderful turn in her new life with Jasper stepping up. But I can't help but wonder if he would be doing all of this if I was the one pregnant. I mean we were together for two years and there was one or two close calls. I couldn't dwell on those thoughts for long because the doorbell rang. "Expecting someone?" I asked Alice as I made my way towards the door.

"Why yes, yes I am. They'll be here in about 8 months," she giggled rubbing her stomach while following a few steps behind me.

I gave a few chuckles and opened the door wide enough for only me to be seen. "Esme," I gasped and gave a quick look over to Alice hiding behind the door with a panic-stricken face before turning back towards the brunette-haired woman, "What do I owe the pleasure? Need to borrow a cup of sugar? Perhaps your car broke down and you need a jump?"

The confidant woman that I met last night is no longer there even though she looks exactly the same, perfect. I could tell the second she whimpered, "Where's Alice?"

"She went on a walk," I lied right away.

Esme closed her eyes and sighed, "Bella, you are a lovely girl and I appreciate how much you've helped her and that you're protecting her now." Her words are getting bolder and bolder as she speaks, "But that's _my _daughter. She's in trouble and I need to see her. I need to show her my support."

Biting my lip I looked at Alice who was on the verge of crying. I communicated with my eyes asking if she wants to talk to her mother. Alice took a deep breath and slowly nodded her head as a tear fell down her cheek. I gave a nod and opened the door the rest of the way to reveal Alice to Esme.

Softly Esme gave a whimpered, "Alley Cat?"

Alice exploded in a fit of tears and was in her mother's arms in an instant. They were both crying and whispering apologizes and new promises. I headed back to the kitchen so I could give them some space.

I was finishing up the salad 20 minuets later when Alice re-entered the kitchen. "I'm going back home with my mother," she simply stated.

Biting into a carrot I sighed, "I figured as much."

"Don't be like that Bella. It was my father who kicked me out, not her," Alice protested. "She told my father that he went to far. She said to him that if he can just cut me out of his life then he wouldn't miss her either. He's at a hotel in Seattle."

"Do you think they're going to work it out?" I asked a tiny bit concerned.

Alice shrugged, "I don't know. Probably. They have big fights like this every few years and they always end up back together in the end." I just nodded my head understanding like as I focus on cutting some celery. Alice continued, "She's going to pay for everything and let me and little no-name live in our house. She even wants to meet Jasper. My mom is supporting me and my decision Bella. I have to go back with her. Little no-name needs its Grandmother and its cousin Edward."

"I get it Alice. It's just that I don't want you at my door again in a few weeks if your mom changes her mind. So do you think she's being honest or is it one of her country club perfect family trips?"

Alice smirked, "She's for real Bella. She's wearing a black skirt with a brown belt." I gave a short laugh and before I could say anything more Alice is squeezing my body tight and crying, "Bella. Thank you so much for everything that you've done for me. I want you there for the rest of this journey and after. Just promise me that we'll talk and hang out."

I sighed, "Of course, I promise." Wrapping my arms around her small frame I held her close. I've grown fond of the crazy small girl. Once we broke away Alice smiled at me and took off to get her things to go back home to Esme.

* * *

><p>I think I just had an epiphany. Or I'm just insane.<p>

I torn off the covers, put on the first pair of slip-ons I could find, and ran down the stairs. I ripped my keys of the hook, threw on the first jacket type thing I could reach (one of Charlie's plaid ones of course), and opened the door. Within a minuet I was in Ol' Rusty and moving.

While trying to go to sleep your mind tends to wonder. I was thinking about Alice and the baby when I got my epiphany. I don't know for sure that the reason that Alice is pregnant is because they used my condom time bomb. And there was only one way to make sure that they did use it. So here I am driving to Jasper's house at 2:30 in the morning.

Arriving 5 minuets later, I did a quick loop around the block to make sure that the truck was still there parked in front of the quiet house. After parking down the street, I creeped back towards the Whitlock's house. Crouching behind the neighbor's bushes from across the street I surveyed the home. The house was dark except for the faint glow of the TV in Jasper's room. He would always leave it on while he slept and it bugged me so much. He could sleep through the fucking apocalypse while I can't sleep through a thunderstorm.

I took a breath to help me balls up and took off towards the vomit green Tachoma. I peered in the window and smirked. Always fucking unlocked. One of these days someone is going to do more than just sabotage a condom.

Opening the door quietly is never an option. It's so old it just squeaks. So I vouch for opening it as fast as I could. I paused for a couple of moments making sure the squeak didn't wake anyone or thing before entering the truck.

I couldn't help but give myself a silent mental high-five when I noticed how his truck got so dirty since we stopped seeing each other. I was always the one to clean it because he was such a lazy ass.

I was trying to find the wrapper from the condom on the floor or something but I had no such luck, just receipts and fast food wrappers. I continued my search in the glove compartment where I originally found the damn thing. And, of course, there it was. Two halves of a used condom foil.

All I can say is that now I am officially sure that I'm the reason that Alice is pregnant. And that will forever be on my conscious.

**AN:**

**Hello hello!  
><strong>

**If anybody cares, college is going a lot better. Made a few friends and found a little groove that works. It's still not the best but it's a lot better. I've been writing slowly between classes in the library and during my downtime. **

**I'd like to thank ALL of my reviewers for their lovely reviews! They all make my days better and I love each one of them.**

**Also thank you to ALL of the readers, even if you don't review and tell me that you are reading, I love that you are reading and I hope that you continue!**

**One quick question;**

**What do you think that the sex of the baby should be?**

**-cynmonstrosity**


	7. Chapter 6: The History

_**Chapter Six**_

"Holy shit Alice. Did you sleep with an alien? That thing is creepy looking."

Alice ripped the ultrasound picture out of my hand, "This is my child Bella. There is life in me, and you just insulted it. Apologize to my little alien uterus tenant."

Pregnancy has been every interesting with Alice. Between the cravings in the middle of 3rd period for pickles in frozen yogurt (which she then convinces me to leave with her and get) and the midnight phone calls of tears I think its safe to say that pregnancy is nowhere near in my own future.

Sighing I moved from the top of the picnic table where Alice and I were sitting to the bench seat in front of her. "This child was only created sixteen weeks ago and I've already apologized to the thing thousands of times. This kid better be damn adorable."

Looking down at me Alice shrugged and stated, "Who knows. Genetics are fucked up things."

Laughing I placed my right hand on Alice's small bump under her shirt. "I am sorry little fetus. I love you and can't wait to meet you in five months."

"Now was that so hard?" Alice asked as I snatched back the picture from her hand.

I shook my head and looked closer at the picture. "So can you tell if it's a boy or girl?" I wondered. "Man or woman? Duke or Dame? Guy or doll? Bloke or Shelia?"

She smiled, "The doctor said that he could tell us if we wanted to. But Jasper and I have decided to wait until it's born to know."

I groaned, "You're just doing that to piss me off aren't you."

"Oh yeah, when the doctor asked us if we wanted to know I just shouted, 'No! I have to torture my friend Bella!'" she mockingly exclaimed. Alice then leaned back on her one hand and started to absent-mindedly rub her stomach with her other. She has had this glow about her lately these days. It made her seem even more angelic than usual in the early morning sun. "We just thought that there aren't to many good surprises in the world right now so why not be guaranteed a great one. And it'll make the birth more special."

"How poetic," I scoffed, a little disappointed in this new development. Ever since Esme came back for Alice three months ago things have gotten better on the Alice baby front. Jasper got a job at the local mechanic shop assisting in motorcycle repair and another job at one of those history museums in Port Angeles. He's saving almost all of the money for the baby even though Esme and his parent's are also going to be helping financially.

All of this has been learned from Alice since I still haven't spoken with Jasper since I dumped the Gatorade on his head. There have been some looks and silent head nods in the hallways and whenever our paves were crossed by our new common element of Alice. But we don't speak. After more than two years together of almost never shutting up, we can't seem to find any words for each other. The guy that was once the biggest part of my life five months ago has become basically a stranger. A part of me did miss him, its hard not to when you have so much history with a person. But at the same time I feel like whatever marks Jasper left on my life are slowly being consumed by something much more powerful.

Alice is making bits of money as well by selling accessories online that she makes from crocheting and other shit. She's tried to pull me into it with her for a while but that changed quickly once we realized I have almost zero hand coordination. Everything she makes looks professional and flawless, mine looked like the unborn baby in her stomach made them.

As happy as Alice seems to be at times, there was always sadness to her in those rare moments when she actually slowed down and relaxed. I mean she is still just a teenager thrown into an unwanted pregnancy with a boyfriend she met a month before. Along with Carlisle still living in Seattle and not having had talked to her or Esme since he left, Alice's life is from perfect.

I held up the sonogram picture once more and looked at it closely. This little blob is a person that I helped in the creation of. I should tell Alice. I should tell her that I ruined her life. It's only going to get worst the longer I put it off.

Just grow some balls and do it.

"Alice," I sighed and looked up into the blue eyes of my friend, "I think that you should kn—"

_Beep beep beep . . . beep beep beep _

"Shit. Sorry I have to go to work," I jumped up and silenced the alarm on my phone, slightly relieved. "Here you go," I said holding the sonogram picture out to Alice.

Alice shook her head, "No Bella. I want you to have that one. I have more in my purse. The little bean's Auntie Bella should have a picture."

Too touched to decline I simply nodded and gave her a hug, "I'll talk to you later." Before I left I lifted Alice's sweater and placed a big raspberry on her swelled stomach. "Goodbye little bean."

A little squeal escaped Alice's mouth as she quickly pulled down her sweater, "Your lips are so cold! Aren't they getting any action?"

"Puh-lease. You know the answer to that," I defended. "And we both know that my pillow, who by the way has been pretending to be Ryan Gosling lately, doesn't count."

Alice shook with laughter, "Get out of here! You need to go and make some money to spoil my child."

I shook my head as I walked backwards away towards my truck in the parking lot of the park, "The only thing that kid is going to get from me is life lessons on how to annoy the hell out of you!"

Alice's laughter grows soft and then is cut off when I shut my door. Before pulling out of the space I took out the picture once more. "Maybe I didn't do such a bad thing," I spoke quietly to myself as I put it standing up in front of my radio.

* * *

><p>"Want to help me create our own personal love shack Bella? I have a <em>tent<em> for you." Mike Newton proposed with an eyebrow wiggle and puffed up his lips. As he leaned up against the staff locker next to mine holding up a tent that needed to be put up for display.

I smiled and slammed my own mustard yellow locker, "As tempting as that sounds. My shift is over, Romeo. I only worked till 3 today. You should have asked me half an hour ago. Lord knows I need some action," My voice dripping with sarcasm.

Mike shook his head and grinned, "You see I hear that tone in your voice but I also know that nobody has been up to bat since Whitlock. I just want you to know that if you need to let someone throw a quick curve ball," he lightly placed his hand on my shoulder, "I'm ready in the dugout."

I mimicked him and put my other hand on his shoulder and nodded, "I really appreciate that Mike. If I ever need some quick and underwhelming action but some guy smelling of grape Big League Chew, you will be my first call."

He dropped his arm and started walking backwards back towards the showroom, "Oh don't worry about it being underwhelming baby." He then started humping the tent kit as he slowly walked back into the main storeroom.

Always a charmer, that one. Maybe one day I'll finally get around to filing a sexual harassment suit. But he's just a horny teenage boy whose parents own the store. Besides he's never laid a hand on me and it is actually pretty entertaining sometimes. So I just go with it. No harm, no foul.

I pulled out my phone to text Rosalie and Emmett about our trio Saturday dinner date tonight as I exited the store. As I approached my truck I looked up from the tiny screen to see a tense looking Edward leaning against the door. "Hey Ducky," I smiled and adjusted the purse strap on my shoulder. "What brings you to Newton's Olympic Outfitters? Need some camping gear?"

He answered by clenching his jaw with a quick shake of his head.

My eyes widened in recognition, "I know what this is. And I knew that this day was coming so I have been practicing." I cracked my neck and started bouncing up and down to warm up. "You are here for an impromptu dance-off. Thought you could catch me off guard Masen? Isabella Marie Swan is always ready. Always."

"Um . . . no. I-I-I . . . I want to tell you something," Edward stammered without even cracking a smile.

I stopped moving at the tone of his voice and took a good look at him. In all these months that I've known Edward I've never seen him like this: nervous and just plain twitchy. He's changing his footing every five seconds or so and is avoiding meeting my gaze. "Of course," I spoke softly as if I was afraid to scare him off like a baby bird, "You can tell me anything." I pushed back the small voice in the back of my head that echoed that I couldn't promise the reverse, I couldn't tell him everything that I wanted to.

Edward nodded slowly and ran a hand threw his bronze hair. After a few moments he then licked him lips before speaking, "I want to show you something."

Normally I would have made some joke about his penis or ambiguous third nipples but the way he was acting is telling me that this is not the time or place for hairy ass cheek jokes. "Then show me."

"Its . . . its in Port Angeles," he stuttered a bit.

Without skipping a beat I replied, "Then shall I drive or will you?"

* * *

><p>One text message to Rosalie apologizing and 20 minuets later, Edward and I were passing into the city limits of Port Angeles.<p>

He hasn't said a word since we climb into his car and he speeded off. This is the longest we've ever been together without speaking. The radio isn't even on. The only sound is the loud purr of the Volvo's engine as he was driving like a bat out of hell. It's deafening. I'm going stir crazy.

I met Edward only three months ago. How many months does it take for a serial killer to kill someone if they're the type that befriends you first and waits for you to trust them before they pounce? Holy Shit. Wait. No. If he were going to kill me he would have done it by now. No one who was planning on killing me would have hung out with me for this long without killing me yet. I mean, I'll be honest; I can be really fucking annoying sometimes.

The car then turned into the parking lot of a multi-leveled brick hotel-like building breaking me out of my paranoid inner rant. We drove pass the sign that was next to the parking lot entrance to quickly for me to read. I waited for Edward to park and turn off the engine before asking, "Where are we?"

He was still clutching the steering wheel and keeping his gaze down. "St. Raphael's Psychiatric Hospital of Port Angeles."

"Look I know I'm a bit crazy, but you don't have to commit me. My craziness has actually downgraded a whole hell of a lot in the past few months." I panicked.

That son of a bitch finally looked at me and then actually cracked a small crooked half smile. "As much as I, and many of our friends, may believe that you will need to have that happen one day. Today is not that day."

I looked at him in confusion. "Then why are we here?"

He took in a long breath before saying, "There is someone I want you to meet."

* * *

><p>"Room 429," Edward stated as we stood in the hallway in front of the closed door.<p>

I nodded, "Yup . . . so . . . did you drive me all this way just to show me the door . . . or what."

He shook his head and turned to me, "Look I don't know how to tell you exactly about what's in there yet. I thought that once we were outside of the door that the words would just start flowing out of me like word vomit but here we are and . . . I have nothing."

I am seriously freaking out but if I freak out then Edward will freak out and then I won't find out anything. "Well why don't you just show me and then maybe later the words will come."

With a deep breath in, Edward nodded and moved forward to knock on the door.

A pretty girl with her blonde hair in a ponytail and dark blue eyes wearing purple scrubs opened the door part way. "Hello? Oh Edward, how are you today?" She said with a smile once she recognized that it was him at the door.

Edward nodded, "Oh you know the usual, Kate. Um . . . how is she doing today? Can she have visitors?"

"She is having a better day than yesterday. She's recognizing most everyone today," Kate responded. "Please come in, she'll be glad to see you." Kate stepped back and opened the door to let us in.

I took a step forward but Edward stood still. Turning back towards him I held out my hand silently showing him my support. He looked at my hand for a moment, paused for a deep breath, and took it leading me into the room.

The room looked like any typical long-term hospital room; television mounted to the wall showing soap operas, uncomfortable looking couch and chairs, but there were also some personal touches like photos and a few plants. In the middle of the room against the far wall was a hospital bed where Kate was whispering to a middle-aged woman in a ratty old t-shirt two sizes too big against her small figure. Once Kate stood back up she gave us a smile and with a quick remainder that she'll be down the hall at the floor's station she left closing the door behind her.

"Edward?" The soft voice of the women in the bed called over.

Dropping my hand, Edward moved across the room lighting fast to the armchair next to the bed. "Hi Mom."

My mouth opened in surprise. We've never really talked about it, but I just assumed that his parents were just out of the picture or dead since he lived with his aunt and uncle. Why did he bring me here? Why do I have to meet his mom in the loony bin?

"I brought a friend that I'd like you to meet," Edward smiled at his mother and gestured to me to join them. I snapped out of my mini-freak out and grabbed another chair to sit next to Edward. "This is my friend Bella, Mom."

I awkwardly raised up my hand in a small wave not knowing exactly what to say, "Hi, it's so nice to meet you . . . Ms. Masen."

She just stared at me. She was a woman that you could tell was once a stunning beauty but age and hardship have withered her looks. She was still attractive compared to other women around her age but she's not what she once was. She had caramel brown hair stripped with bits of gray that was naturally loose curled that reached her shoulders. Her face was heart shaped and she had some light freckles covering it. There was a giant pink scar that went from the corner her left eye past her temple that disappeared into her hairline. But what struck me the most were her bright emerald eyes with the gold flakes that were exactly the same as Edward's. But unlike her son, her eyes had a vague distant look about them. "I'm sorry have I met you before?" She said with a scared tone of voice.

Edward reached for his mother's hand and talked to her in a calm steady tone, "No Mom. You've never met Bella before. This is the first time you've met her, but I've told you about her before. Do you remember?"

She just shook her head, "No."

That made Edward wince a little but he quickly composed himself, "Well she was the first friend that I made at my new school Mom. You know when we moved here from Chicago a few months ago?"

"Oh, well hello Bella. I'm Liz." She gave me a shy smile.

I smiled back, "Hi Liz. So tell me, what is going on in the city of Salem these days? It's been a while since I've watched the sands go through the hourglass."

* * *

><p>The sun was beginning its journey down, even though it was hard to tell underneath the cloud cover. Edward and I were back in his car and passing the town limits of rainy Forks when he finally broke the silence that has been weighing between us since we left Liz. "Thank you . . . for coming with me today."<p>

I turned back from the window and shook my head. "Why?"

He opened his mouth to say something then shut it before saying, "Why what exactly?"

"Why what?! Why everything!" I exploded.

"Alright, alright. I know I have some 'splanin to do Lucy. Just calm down," He shouted right back at me.

I scoffed, "Some 'splanin to do?! This isn't a fucking sitcom Ricky-damn it. Edward!" Then he dared to start smiling at my mistake. "Fucking hell, pull the car over!"

"Bella, be reasonable we're almost back to the store," Edward tried to reason.

It just set me off even worst, "PULL THE MOTHER FUCKING CAR OVER EDWARD ANTHONY!"

He slapped the steering wheel and yelled back, "FINE!"

My head was thrown back against the window as he quickly pulled the car over to the side of the road. I was out of the car and storming into the rainy woods before he even had the car fully stopped. "BELLA!" I heard being shouted at me as I stomped off into the trees. But eventually he did catch up to me and he grabbed my arm, effectively stopping me from moving any farther away from him.

"Why are you so angry with me?" He asked still with a hint of anger in his own voice as well.

"Why am I angry with you?" I screamed. "Why the fuck wouldn't I be? You take me to meet your mother, who is in the _mental hospital_, with no explanation and no warning. Do you know how terrified I was? I could have said something totally ridiculous and made a complete ass of myself to your mother."

Edward's jaw tensed as he rubbed his damp chin with his hand, "Look I know that what I did was pretty dickish but you need to . . . calm down . . . and understand that its really hard for me to talk about my mother. But the thing is that I wanted you to know. I want you to know about the things in my life that I'm not brave enough to talk about. I know I caught you off guard and put you in an uncomfortable position but that was the only way I could think of to tell you."

I shook my head, "Well you showed me. But you do realize that I need more information than just that your mother is in the hospital. Then you tell me that you can't explain because it's to hard for you? You can't just show me something like that then not expect me to freak out when you still can't talk to me about it!"

"Okay!" He screamed turning away from me and punching the nearest tree with a loud deafening thud. My eyes widened in shock. I've never seen him angry like this. I've seen him mad . . . at movies and at Jasper. But I've never seen him this level of angry before, it was like he was uncontrollable. I felt my body temperature drop and chills ghost through my body. After that, time slowed down. I wasn't sure how much time passed before slowly he relaxed his tense body and turned back toward me. The look on his face was recognizable even through the downpour of the rain.

Shame.

His eyes locked on with mine before he spoke again. "Okay," his voice was shaken and soft. His body straightened back up as he made his way back towards me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lose my temper. Don't be scared."

I swallowed my fear and lied, "I'm not scared. I'm not a little girl."

Edward just shook his head, "I'll explain . . . everything. Can we please just go back to the car and get out of this rain? I don't want Charlie to kill me for you getting hypothermia."

"You promise you'll tell me if I get back in that car?"

"Yes." His voice sounded so sure, the stubbornness that is so embedded into me couldn't help but give out.

I let out a sigh of defeat and stomped my way pass Edward and towards the car. I yanked open the passenger side door and plopped down on the worn leather seat. The door slammed to a shut next to me as I stared through the wet windshield at Edward's dark figure pace around the wet forest. Even through the rain blurring him into a tall black blob I could see a jolt of copper color that could only be his hair. This is a different side to Edward that I've only seen glimpses of in smaller moments. I don't know how to handle him like this.

After his seventeenth lap around the small wooded area, Edward stalked his way towards the Volvo. My eyes never left him the entire time. From him pausing outside of the driver side door, hand on the handle, to him finally getting in and shaking the water out of his hair like a dog. He still didn't look at me while his fingers started drumming on the steering wheel.

The need to say something was very dense in the small space as Edward's finger tapping filled the air with fast and slow thuds.

_Thud. . . thudthudthudthudthud . . . thudthud . . . thud . . . thudthudthu-_

A loud groan erupted from my throat as I reached over and yanked his right hand into my lap. "For the love of God! That is the most annoying sound. Take all the time you want just please never make that sound again."

Edward nodded slowly and finally turned towards me. But his eyes weren't on mine, but rather on my two hands holding his. He began with a long sigh; "My parents met at the University of Chicago in 1991. Liz was a sophomore from the suburbs of Illinois trying to get a degree in education when she met my father Anthony Masen, the junior business major from the upper class society of Chicago. The two started dating despite the Masen family disapproval of the pairing. The next year my mother became pregnant with me. When my father made it known that he was going to marry her, his family disowned him completely.

"They got married at the courthouse with only Liz's parents and her older sister Esme with her own new husband Carlisle as witnesses. Anthony completed his degree and got a job at this real estate investment company while Liz had to drop out of college. They lived in a small one-bedroom apartment trying to make a real marriage out of a forced situation. When I was born, Liz stayed at home to take care of me while Anthony would work all day and most of the night in order to keep the family afloat. Liz became more and more bitter towards Anthony about working so much while he didn't see any way around his work schedule.

"But as I grew older and Anthony slowly advanced up the corporate ladder, things in our family seemed to become easier. We moved into a slightly bigger apartment and the times where Anthony wasn't working were the best in my childhood. Chicago is a city of millions but at those times it felt like the only people in the entire city were the three of us. My parents and I were happy in those moments. There were trips to the park, picnics, countless museums, the zoo, camping, hikes, and even a couple vacations to the great lake with Esme, Carlisle, and Alice. Those are the moments that I like to think about when I think back on my childhood.

"In early 2000, Anthony received a call from his mother. My grandfather had died and she wanted him to come back to the society world that he was shunned out of for marrying my mother. He agreed and soon our lives were thrown into a blender basically. With his family now accepting Anthony back, his trust fund that was supposed to be given to him when he graduated college was now instated. We moved to a penthouse apartment near Hyde Park, I was sent to the best private school in the city, Liz was able to go back to school, and Anthony used his new connections to become one of the biggest names of real estate investment in the city. Every weekend, and a lot of weekdays, my parents were gone to a fundraiser or party or business trip while I was sent off to Esme's. Our time together as a family became non-existent.

"Anthony was gone more than my mother though. Their marriage was becoming strained and almost non-existent. It was obvious to everyone, even me at seven years old. Liz didn't want any part of society life and was reluctant to even go to functions as Anthony's date. She became bitter as the world that he gave up for her slowly reclaimed him. She didn't like that I was going to become apart of that same world more and more as I grew older. He thought that she was holding him back and that she had been since they met. The stress of the failing marriage was invoking a drinking problem in both of them.

"In 2002, a few months before I turned nine, I came home from school to find my father in his study kissing a woman on his desk. Her name was Heidi. I've met her a few times at some of the society functions that I was allowed to attend. My father noticed me in the doorway and pulled me aside into my room. He told me that if I loved my mother then I wouldn't say anything to her or anybody about what I saw. So I didn't say anything.

"In October later that year, Liz and I went out for the day to the aquarium. We had the best day. She had been so busy trying to finish her degree and attending events with my father that we hadn't had a lot of alone time together in months. She woke me up that morning and surprised me with renting out the entire aquarium. I ran all over looking at all of the different fishes. I even got to feed the dolphins. It was incredible. But when we arrived home that afternoon, my father was in the living room on the couch with a half naked Heidi.

"The screaming that filled the apartment was terrifying. I ran to my room and closed the door, but nothing could shut out the noise of my parent's marriage blowing up. After a couple of minuets my mother came bursting through my door and grabbed me by the hand, pulling me towards the door. As she lead me away from the apartment I looked back towards my father, still in the living room, pouring himself a giant tumbler of bourbon. He didn't even spare a glance as his wife dragged his son and herself away from him.

"We were in the car speeding away from the city towards Esme and Carlisle's house. Liz was losing her shit and the guilt inside of me was just exploding. So I told her. I told her that I knew Dad was kissing that Heidi lady for five months now and how he told me not to tell anyone if I loved her because it would hurt her too much. My mother, with the most shocked and horrified look I could ever imagined, turned to look at me in the back seat while the car was still in motion. The car then veered into oncoming traffic. I screamed at her to turn around but she wasn't quick enough and we were hit by a SUV. The car flipped over in the middle of the highway.

"Liz hit her head pretty hard against the broken window. The glass sliced through her skin and over her temple. Just half an inch deeper and she would have been dead. She suffered severe head trauma and brain damage, sending her into a coma that lasted for months. While she was in the coma, Anthony filed for divorce and gave up his rights as a parent. Esme, who was my mother's guardian while she was in her comatose state, didn't contest the divorce so it was finalized and I was then placed in Esme's care.

"She came out of her coma four months later. When she woke up she suffered from retrograde amnesia, she couldn't remember anything about our day together, catching Anthony in the apartment, or even the car crash. The doctors said not to worry, that within a month her memories would come back. But they didn't. Due to the brain damage suffered in the accident she now has trouble creating new memories, and it is only getting worse with age. She can, over a long period of time, but it can take her months to remember a person that she meets now. It's taking longer and longer for her to make new memories. I mean she is just now remembering that we left Chicago. Eventually she will no longer be able to transfer the information from her short term memory to her long term memory. She will only have the capacity to remember things that are already in her long term memory and the things that have only happened in the past day or so before its completely wiped from her memory.

"I go to see her every day. But she has these bad days when she doesn't even recognize me because she wakes up thinking that its 2002 and that I'm still nine and she is going to surprise me later with a trip to the aquarium. So when a grown version of her nine year old son walks through the door she flips her shit. Those are the worst days. When I go to see my mother and she looks at me as if I'm a fucking stranger and not her son." Edward broke off from his story for the first time then with a throaty sob. He threw his body away from me and leaned against the window with his face in his hands.

"Hey," I whispered as I leaned over the console and pulled his hands away from his face. I waited for his eyes to meet mine before the speaking, "Calm down. You're with me, everything's okay."

Edward let out a long sigh and gave a slow nod. He took one of his hands out of mine and gently placed it on my neck. I was pretty sure that he could feel my pounding pulse beneath his palm. I felt like I was truly seeing him for the first time right now. His face was open and vulnerable, his body looked relaxed like it was freed of a giant burden, his eyes looked trustful. My breathing hitched as his hand slowly slid up my neck and his fingers tangled into my hair. He took in a deep breath as he pulled my head towards his. His forehead rested against mine as his eyes closed. Content washed over me as I felt my own eyes close as well. I know that I could be asking any of my countless questions. I could be using useless words in an attempt to calm him down. But this was all that was needed to show my support: silence and my presence.

We stayed in our silence for a few endless moments before my big mouth had to get in the way. I opened my eyes and stared at his face that so impossible close to mine. I felt my forehead scrunch up in confusion as words came bubbling out of my mouth, "Why did you take me today?"

His green eyes opened and he removed his hand from the back of my head. As his body moved away from mine to lean against the car door, he looked like he was at a lost for words. "You know Bella," he stated "I just feel like I can tell you anything. I don't know why though. But I can tell you that it scares the hell out of me. _You _scare the hell out of me. I never told anybody the entire story like that before. Nobody else knows that I knew that my dad was cheating or that I told my mom that right before she crashed the car. She never remembered either."

I couldn't think of anything else to say but "You scare the hell out of me too,"

Edward's mouth broke into a small smirk of amusement. Soon his body was leaning back towards mine and his hand was on my cheek. It was bigger than usual and starting to turn purple. "Your hand is starting to swell and bruise. Doesn't it hurt?" I say with my brain not thinking straight.

He sighed, "Yeah. But I really could care less right now." He was so close; I could feel his breath on my face again.

"Well that's what happens when you punch a fucking solid tree you dipshit." I couldn't stop myself from being the sarcastic bitch that I was.

Edward chuckled, "Just be quiet for once in your life, okay?"

Normally I would be beyond pissed at that comment, but I couldn't bring myself to really care as his mouth was moving closer towards mine. I even felt myself start to inch closer as well.

As I closed my eyes I could start to feel his lips barely touching my own. But I froze. Today he was open and honest with me about his past. He told me things that he never told anyone else. He told me these things because he felt like he could trust me and that he wanted to let me in. But I can't do the same.

His lips met mine with this tender amount of pressure. It was the most intoxicating kiss of my life; I couldn't help but return it. I thought my mind went blank from pleasure but one thought pulsed through my body as he tried to deepen it.

_Tell him the truth._

I want to tell him. But I don't know how. So I do the only thing I know I can do.

I panic.

Breaking away from Edward I looked away from his shocked face and stammered, "I'm sorry." And before he could say a word I threw myself out of the car and began running through the woods to the long path that would lead me back to my truck, blocking out his voice yelling after me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**It's been a while, I know. **

**I hope you guys aren't to mad. **

**I'm working on the next chapter as you read.**

**I'm using creative license in Liz's mental illness. It was all based on internet research, but her memory problems as a whole can't technically happen. **

**Hoped you enjoyed.**

**All I ask for is patience.**

**-cynmonstrosity **


	8. Chapter 7: The Truth

_**Chapter Seven**_

My bed has betrayed me.

My once loyal blankets are as compressing as boa constrictors.

My mind was on hyper drive and it won't stop for me to sleep.

As soon as I got home I ran up the stairs ignoring Charlie's attempt at conversation. My bag and shoes were discarded blindly somewhere in my room before striding across the small hallway to the bathroom. I stepped into the shower without a second thought and turned the water the hottest it could go. My forehead was up against the cool tile of the shower as I tried to calm my heartbeat. I decided that I would give myself five minuets to wallow in the guilt. I would savor it, embrace it, and then I would proceed like nothing happened. I'll just push it back. The situation is only as fucked up as I make it, right?

Yeah . . . you don't have to tell me. It sounded like bullshit to me too.

But I discard that thought and, after my personally given allowed time, I removed myself from the shower tile that was supporting me. I looked down at myself and saw my clothes soaked and clinging on to my body. My mouth let out a long and hushed "Shit." I set off to work on peeling off the wet clothes from my skin and started going through my normal shower regimen. I keep my thoughts exclusively on each individual task to stop my mind from straying back to its usual thought waves of disgust with my actions.

I stood in that shower until the water went from scolding hot, to luke warm, and finally to freezing cold. I even stood under the ice water for more than I probably should of. Eventually when I stepped out of the shower I was mentally and physically drained. I just threw my wet clothes into the hamper silently promising myself that I would do laundry in the morning to keep them from mildewing. Dressed in only my old baby blue towel, I made my back into my room. Still trying to keep my thoughts at bay, I took painstakingly long in drying my hair and paid close attention to every detail as I braided my hair for the night.

But there's only so much these mindless tasks can do to keep thoughts at bay. And once I was lying in bed there was no escape from my thoughts. All I could do was let my mind race until my body gave in to the exhaustion. The only problem is that when your mind is racing, it tends to overpower the fatigue of the physical body.

I once read that it takes a person, on average, fourteen minutes to fall asleep. As I laid there waiting for sleep to come over me, I let my brain form dozens of questions from the new information rolling around in there, thinking that I would be asleep in fourteen minutes.

Those fourteen minutes were two and a half hours ago. Every twenty minutes or so, I would change position in hopes that it would whisk me off to dreamland. But it never did. With all if the twisting and turning of my body, my blankets became wrapped around me. I felt like a well-wrapped burrito.

My thoughts were everywhere. But they always were being pulled back to the guilt that was now radiating from the pit of my stomach. Ever since Alice found out that she was pregnant there's been this weight that feels like it's growing in my stomach like I am pregnant with my own guilt baby. I've mostly been able to control it as the lies went on. There are even times when I have been able to just completely ignore it. I just don't understand why the guilt is taking over now when it's been so dormant for this long.

Bullshit. I know the reason. It's Edward, with his fucking stupid unruly hair. His sharp green eyes that are almost always looking at me. That goddamn crooked smirk thing that his mouth does. Why did he have to be so fucking honest and open with me? It's like he knew that I was hiding something so he decided to tell me his life's story. He _knows_ that it's proper social etiquette when one party tells another the truth that it's expected for the other party to participate in the truth telling as well. He's doing all of this just to trick me into revealing something.

Well fuck him. And fuck that kiss, that . . . warm and . . . tender kiss. He's so funny too. We get along so well. He gets my sense of humor and plays along with it even. He goes and sees his mentally ill mother everyday. He's a fucking saint compared to me. I'm the liar. I'm the fucking devil who gets girls pregnant out of drunken jealous rage.

_Go see him._

The guilt baby in my stomach was right. It's telling me that I shouldn't have just ran out of the car like that. I need to talk to him.

"Shit," I groaned as I turned my body over. "You must be fucking stupid if you're seriously going to do this." My guilt baby then sent a tsunami wave of guilt over my body. But that only aggregated me further. That's what pushed me over the edge. If I do this I'm not going to do it for this guilt baby but for myself. I'm not going there because of my guilt but because of my anger.

Tossing off my blanket burrito restrains, I shoot up like a rocket and begin searching for some sort of footwear. I grab the first shoe-like object I land my eyes on, my worn out dark brown moccasins. My black zip-up hoodie was on the floor next to the shoes so I put that on over the gray tank top I wore to bed and stuffed my cell phone into one of its pockets. I don't even bother trying to dig up a pair of actual pants as I cross my room and took caution in opening my door as to not wake Charlie. My dark gray leggings will just have to work because I need to give that Edward fucker a piece of my mind.

Charlie's loud snores were, as always, steady and rhythmic. I worked my way towards the stairs and used his own snores in covering the squeaks of the old staircase. Stepping when he would take a deep breath in, effectively covering most of the noise emitting from each step.

Once down the stairs I silently stalk my way towards the kitchen and the back door. I unlocked the door then open it just enough for my body to slide through. I closed the door slowly with the knob twisted to avoid the loud click of the latch locking into place in the doorframe. Once the door was closed I steadily let go of the doorknob until it latched into place without a sound. My body let out a quiet sigh of relief before I pulled my hood over my head, turned, and made my way down the work concrete steps into the rainy night.

Holly Brook Lane is about two and a half blocks away from my own humble abode and as I trekked my way in the rain towards it, my moccasins were getting soaked in the small rivers of water gushing down the road. My wet feet and my ruined slippers were only added fuel for the hate fire inside of me, pushing me towards the Cullen's residence.

I turned the final corner and saw the beautiful Queen Anne in the distance with all the lights off and two cars dormant in the driveway. One of them was the Volvo. My soaking wet feet took off into a run until I was standing at the beginning of the driveway. I pulled out my phone and looked for the number that I needed before hitting send and pressing the cold metal phone against my ear.

I heard six rings before I was sent to voicemail.

I tried again and got six rings.

And again. But only got three rings before being sent to voicemail.

So that fucker is up and ignoring the calls now.

Again. Two rings.

Again. One ring.

Again. One ring.

Again. "What do you want?" came a hushed mean voice.

I pushed back the slight satisfaction I took in wearing him down. "We need to talk." I responded in my own quiet pissed off tone.

"It's 3 in the morning. I'm not doing this now," his voice came through the phone.

"Fuck that. Yes you are," I replied. "Which window is yours?"

"You are_ not_ at my fucking house right now," he sounded both angry and unconvinced. I heard the rustling of movement in the background but saw none in the windows in the front of the house. I started making my way thought the soggy muddy ground towards the back of the house.

Mud can now officially be added to the cause of death list for my shoes as it soaked its way into them. "Shows what you know," I told him as I turned my body towards the back of the house when I was in the backyard.

Bingo, movement in the rightmost second story window. "Come to the window and see for yourself asshole." I whispered challenged into the phone.

Then Edward fully appeared behind the glass of his window holding an object in his hand to his ear and looking furious. "You got to be fucking kidding me." I heard the words in my ear and saw his lips move in the window. "Leave now."

"No."

"Go away."

"No chance in hell."

His free had raked through his hair in frustration. "You're going to wake up Alice and Esme. So fuck off."

"I'm not leaving fucker. So you might as well come on down and talk to me."

"What if I don't?" He challenged.

I accepted his challenge, "Then I'll break into the house. There are some good window smashing rocks around here. Or I could just start singing loud enough to wake up the pregnant beast."

He shook his head, "Bullshit. No you won't."

Oh fuck him. I took a giant breath in and started scream singing, "IF YOU ARE BLUE AND YOU DON'T KNOW-"

"Dear God please stop." Edward's hushed voice came through the phone frantically.

"-WHERE TO GO TO. WHY DON'T YOU GO-"

A couple of the neighborhood dogs started howling at the noise. "You are fucking insane. You know that?" He continued his protests over my singing and the dogs.

"-WHERE FASHION SITS-"

"Oh my God! Seriously stop. I think I just heard Alice move."

"-PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ!"

"Fine! I'll come down just to avoid pregnant rage."

A smirk grew across my face as I put my most sickening sweet voice on to say, "Thank you."

"You're a horrible singer by the way."

Edward hung up the phone before turning away from the window and disappearing from my line of sight. I lowered my own arm down and slipped my phone back inside my pocket. My body is shivering from being wet and the crisp early spring night cold. But I shake it off as I turn my attention to Edward slipping through the back door barefoot in dark basketball shorts and a hunter green t-shirt. He shuts the door with nothing but a whisper from the lock latching shut. Motioning with a nod of his head to follow him towards the small gazebo farther away from the house. His stance looked tense and angry as I copied his steps into the wooden enclosing.

When he's under the covering of the gazebo he shakes out the water from his hair before sitting down on one of the bench seats. His sharp eyes take me in as I sit on the bench across from him. "You look like a rapist," he stated.

The dirtiest look that I could muster turned full blast towards him, "Bite me." Pushing my hood off my head I continued sarcastically, "I'm sorry that I didn't put on a more acceptable outfit just to fight with you."

He scoffed, "Why are you here?"

"Why are you so angry at me?" I retorted.

His hand shot straight up to his hair and combed through it as he shook his head in disbelief, "Why wouldn't I be? I feel like I should be angrier than I am actually." His eyes went to the wood around his feet as he continued in a more reserved tone. "I told you something really personal about me Bella. Something nobody knows. And then I. . . I kiss you, and you freak out and run away into the woods. And I'm left in my car, by myself, wondering what I did wrong. I feel like a fucking preteen girl here."

I shook my head shortly, "Don't act like your the one is the wrong here. I know why you told me all about your parents. Its because you know that I've been hiding something so you thought that telling me a secret would get me to spill my guts out to you. Well I got news for you, jackass. I'm on to your little mind fuck and I'm not going to be telling you shit."

"What the . . . What?" His face was all scrunched up in confusion. "You're so fucking insane. Do you really think of me as the kind of person that would do that? What have I ever done that would make you think that I would ever do something like that? I mean are you hearing yourself right now?"

This wasn't the reaction I was expecting. "I . . . I . . . I don't know," I stammered at my realization on how crazy I was actually sounding. "So you really weren't just telling me about your family because you wanted me to open up to you."

"Well of course I want you to open up to me. I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. But as I told you before, I told you because I thought that I could tell you anything. But I guess I was wrong about that since you just ran off."

The guilt baby grew in my stomach. Then I just let my string of thoughts pour out of my mouth. "I'm sorry. I . . . I guess I am just not use to this straightforward honesty and not always expecting something in return. I mean, when Jasper and I were together he would play these little mind games all the time. They were tiring, but I went along with them. I thought that's what a real relationship was, you know? That's the way it is on all the TV shows and whatnot. But as more time has passed since we've been together I look back at these little things and notice stuff that I hadn't before. Jasper was actually pretty controlling in these small ways that I would shake off all the time but when I look back and put them all together the signs were definitely there. He would have pulled a stunt like that, telling me something, falsely personal, just to get something out of me as well. So I'm sorry I accused you of that. It's just my mind trying not to fall for the same things again."

His eyes bore into mine at my words, "Have you told Alice about this?"

"No," I shook my head. "I actually think that she's better for him than I was in that area actually. She doesn't put up with that shit. I don't think she ever will. I don't worry about her in that sense."

"What sense _do_ you worry about her?"

Ignoring his question I stand up and try to leave, "We'll I'm sorry about the confusion. I should go."

Edward grabbed my right wrist and pulled me fully back into the gazebo. "No you shouldn't." His grip lightly pulled me down onto the wooden bench next to him before letting go. "You know that what I told you, about me being the reason, was true right? I wouldn't lie about something like that."

"Of course," I answered. "I know that you would never lie about something like that. I was just confused on the why you were telling me part." His resulting nod of his head acknowledges his understanding.

The rain filled the silence that was enveloping between us as we sat there, trying to figure out what to say next. We were no longer angry, but we still had questions. I decided to start with the ones that seemed less dangerous. "So what ever happened to your dad? He never tried to contact you after the divorce or anything?"

He took in a deep breath, "Anthony married society lady named Ramona about four years after the divorce. I've never met her but they have a three year old girl named Cecily and a new baby girl named Kiera. Anthony started trying to contact me around the time he got married again, through the Internet. He sends me these long emails all about his life, how he's sorry about giving up his parental rights, and how he wishes we could have a relationship again. He even told me that he hasn't touched the trust fund he set up in my name after he got his family money back. I've only responded once, after about the third time that it happened, to tell him that I didn't want anything to do with him. He told me that he understands, but he keeps sending me emails, about once every couple months or so, in hopes that I change my mind one day."

"Do you think you'll ever change your mind?"

"I don't know. I do want to have a relationship with my sisters. But I don't think I want one with my father. And at this moment in time I can't have the one without the other. So maybe when they're older I can meet them, if they want to meet me. Anthony wrote that Cecily knows about me so I'm just going to wait for the day that she or her sister contacts me."

"What if that never happens?"

"Then that means they don't want to have a relationship with me and I'll just have to accept that."

It's amazing to me how mature Edward is for only being seventeen. He's here dealing with all this family issues calmly while I go off poking holes in condoms just from a fit of jealousy. "What about your trust fund? Are you going to accept all that money?"

He shrugged, "Probably. It becomes available to me when I turn twenty-one. I've decided though, that if I do, I'm going to use the money to pay for college, but that's it. I'll give the rest to charity or my sisters or whatever."

I nodded my head in understanding as my brain raked over all the new information that its been given. "Penny for your thoughts?" Edward asked.

"Where does that saying even come from? It seems so outdated now. Like, 'Wow my thoughts are only worth a penny to you? You cheap bastard.' I mean I like to think that my thoughts are worth at least a quarter. Hell, I'd settle for a dime."

For the first time since I've ventured out tonight a smile broke through Edward's mouth as he chuckled, "You're so ridiculous. But, Lord help me, I want to hear every ridiculous thought that your brain comes up with. You fascinate me to no extent"

"Is that why you kissed me?" I asked.

Green eyes searched my face for something underneath my poker face before sighing and admitting, "Yes. Well, I always want to kiss you. But I was waiting for you to get over Jasper completely before I tried anything. But yeah, I felt so close to you at that moment. I couldn't help myself. I really like you Bella, definitely more than a friend."

His body scooted closer to mine almost unconsciously. "No you don't," I whispered.

"Yes I do," he nodded as he leaned even closer.

I lightly pushed on his shoulders to stop him from coming closer. "You shouldn't. I'm . . . I'm no good."

Confusing crossed his face, "You're lying. You are one of the best people I know."

"Please stop saying things like that," I snapped at him as my anger grew.

Shaking his head and continuing as if this is was all a weird joke, "Give me one good reason and I will. Otherwise I think you're shit out of luck."

There, looking at his face and that crooked smirk that was expecting me to play along. Right there was when I snapped, "Because I'm the reason why your cousin is pregnant."

His face fell, "That's not funny. Don't joke about that."

"It's not meant to be a joke," I spoke firmly.

Edward's eyebrow drew together in either thought or anger, I couldn't tell which. Maybe it was both. "You're kidding me. You have to be. I mean there's no way. W-why are you lying?"

I felt a tear slide down my ice-cold cheek leaving a burning trail on my skin from the warm moisture. "I wish I was. I got drunk at Mike Newton's party and I saw Jasper come down the stairs with Alice on his arm. Then he kissed her and my vision just . . . blurred with jealousy and anger. I went outside, saw his truck, and broke into it. I opened the glove compartment and found this . . . this condom that he always had on hand. I grabbed a needle out of my bag and poked through the condom a bunch of times before putting it back in its previous spot. Then a month later I find Alice crying in the bathroom over a pregnancy test. The guilt I felt—no, feel is driving me crazy. I just feel this need to look after her now that I got her into all of this."

Distraught, Edward stammered, "B-but maybe you're overreacting. I mean, what's the chance that they used that exact-"

"Don't bother," I interrupted. "I broke back into the truck one night. All that was left was two halves of the foil. I'm the reason."

Edward turned his body away from mine and bowed his head. His legs were bouncing up and down frantically making the wood under his bare feet squeak and groan at a alternating weight. His hands were tearing and combing through his hair over and over. This continued on for a few moments before I awkwardly stood up and spoke in a very hushed voice, "I'll go."

My wet feet squished while they carried me out of the gazebo and back into the rain. Admitting the truth didn't make the guilt baby go away like I thought it would. It just made me feel even more ashamed from hearing the words out loud. I wanted to run home, and I probably would have if I didn't hear a, "Bella."

I turn my body back towards the gazebo and saw Edward standing up, hands gripping the wooden columns around the entrance. His eyes burned as I forced myself to look back at them straight. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I appreciate you being honest. But it was to the wrong person."

A couple of slow nods of my head later, and I was pushing my way back across the muddy yard.

**A/N:**

**Hello! Still here. Are you? **

**-cynmonstrosity**


	9. Chapter 8: The Confession

_**Chapter Eight**_

Bright sun was shinning onto the foil nylon balloons and reflecting straight into my eyes. My hand shot up to shield my eyes from the glare. I sighed as I shifted my weight back and forth on my borrowed metallic bronze sandal heels and looked at the Queen Anne.

Rosalie sucked on her teeth in annoyance next to me. "Why the fuck am I here again?"

I sighed, "Because Alice invited you."

She pushed her favorite brown tinted gold trimmed heart-shaped sunglasses up into her blonde hair as she groaned, "But she's your friend. I don't even like this bitch."

As I smoothed out the skirt of her mid-thigh coral colored sundress I worked my magic, "But you like me." The look on her face told me that she wasn't having that bullshit as her lips pursed and eyebrows rose. "Okay fine," I caved. "But look, Esme is this Food Network junkie so I can guarantee, without a doubt, there is a ton of amazing food in there. Plus we can dominate in those stupid baby shower games and make these yuppie bitches cry."

"This food, you speak about. On a scale?" Rosalie asked.

I saw my opportunity to close the sale, "Oh my God, definitely a 9.25. It would have been even higher if it wasn't for the-"

"Russian judge?" She finished.

I nodded, "Exactly. But you how they are sticklers in judging." Continuing in my horrible Russian accent, "Perfection or nothing! But also maybe vodka . . . Oh wait, I already said perfection."

A smile broke through her face regretfully, "Ugh, fine. Only for food."

"Thank you," I smiled back. I shifted my brightly colored zoo animal themed wrapped gift from one hip to the other before lightly tugging on the end of Rosalie's side braid. "Be nice."

I turned back towards the Queen Anne and moved my legs up the driveway. I could hear Rosalie taking a swipe at the shiny balloons attached to the mailbox before groaning loudly and following me to the front door.

The doorbell's chimes echoed from behind the door after I pressed the small button. Two seconds later, a very pregnant Alice, now eight and a half months, is answering the door barefoot in an empire waited bright cerulean blue tribal patterned sundress. "Oh thank God! I can't keep making small talk to all of my Mom's stuck up friends or I will be forced to commit mass pregnant homicide," Alice rambled as she saw us.

"Hey prego," I laughed as I moved into the foyer from outside.

Rosalie stepped inside next to me, "Hey Alice." She reached into her small cross body purse and pulled out a ratty pink rattle and held it out to Alice. "I got you a rattle. I didn't have time to wrap it."

Alice grabbed the toy and shook it with a smile politely plastered on her face, "Aw, thank you Rosalie. This is really thoughtful. Was it a family heirloom?"

"Sure," Rosalie shrugged.

Alice slowly nodded her head awkwardly for a few seconds before continuing, "Well I'm so glad that you guys are here finally. Come on, I'll show you were you can put that gift Bella and where the food is. I hope you're hungry because . . . " She turned around and started to waddle down the hallways while still talking.

As we followed her I whispered to Rosalie, "Where did the rattle really come from?"

"Some baby dropped it at the gas station this morning," she whispered back.

I shook my head, "You stole from a baby?"

"Technically, it was more of a finders-keepers situation."

I chuckled as we crossed into the giant living room at the back of the house that was filled with a bunch of high class looking ladies standing around talking, eating, and mostly drinking. Non-gender specific baby shower decorations were everywhere. It was like the baby shower section of the party store exploded in here, multiple times.

In the kitchen, next to the large living room there, was food on every surface available. Once Rosalie's eyes connected with the food Mecca she was off. I continued in following Alice towards the giant pile of presents accumulated in the far corner. "You know you don't have to keep that rattle," I told her as I put down the wrapped box of diapers I got her.

"Oh, I know," Alice, laughed. "But I want to. I think it's cute. It has a history."

I shook my head, "You're a better person than I am. That's for sure." Before Alice could start to protest like I knew she would I asked, "Where's young Jasper this fine day?"

"He couldn't get off work. But he'll be here before the shower is over," she answered.

"BELLA!" I heard being yelled at me before being pulled into a hug from behind. "It's so glad to see you my dear!"

The arms around me were small and there was a glass of white wine in one. I smiled, "Esme. How's the hottest Grandma in Forks?"

Esme laughed, "Oh, you're the worst! I love it. We must have you over for dinner. When was the last time we had you over?"

"Last night," I chuckled.

She giggled before releasing me a looking me up and down, "That's right. Oh you look so darling! Give me a little twirl."

Alice glared at her mom, "You don't have to do that Bella."

"Yes you do Bella! Don't listen to Alley Cat," Esme insisted before taking hold of my hand and positioning it above my head. I gave her a few twirls. The skirt of my dark blue dress flew up slightly around me as I twirled. When I stopped I adjusted the halter spaghetti straps and the fitted top of the cotton dress. "Where did you get that dress Bella?"

"From your closet," I laughed.

"Oh, you look ten times better than I ever will in that dress. Congratulations! It's now officially yours," she gushed.

I shook my head, "Esme you can't keep on doing this! I'm running out of closet space."

She just waved it off, "Well then I'll just have to start buying you those coat hanger thingies that collapse. Alley, you know what I'm taking about! They're on the QVC all the time."

"Yeah, Mom. I know what you mean," Alice sighed.

Esme's name was being called from across the room. "Well duty calls." She pointed at me and made me promise to say goodbye before I left and to go get some food because she's made way too much.

As she worked her way away from us I turned back to Alice and whistled, "Momma's kind of drunk."

Alice sighed, "Yeah. Well, this is her seventeen-year-old daughter's baby shower so I can't be really mad at her. Plus she's going through it alone without my father. It's all just too much for her sometimes. So she's dealing with it the only way she knows."

I nodded as Esme called over to Alice to talk to somebody. I decided to take Rosalie's lead and head over for some food. My plate was overfilling even before I made it halfway around the kitchen. I looked up as I scooped out something called and saw Rosalie in the dinning room through the kitchen door eating and talking to Edward. My stomach jumped a bit at the sight of him. Taking a deep breath I take my plate and head over to them.

Rosalie made contact with me as I walked into the room. "Bee! You were so right about this food. Banging beyond belief! Look who I found as he was trying to sneak upstairs." She poked Edward in the cheek for emphasis. "This guy!"

As I sat down across from her and next to Edward, who was sitting at the head, I was surprised to see that he didn't smack his hand away like he usually would. In fact, he looked miserable. His eyes latched onto mine for a few seconds before looking away awkwardly. I took a breath then looked back over to Rosalie who was continuing on obviously to the tension between Edward and I. Or maybe she's just use to it since its been evident whenever we've been around each other for the past four months, ever since the night I told him the truth. "Yeah, we were just catching up. I haven't seen this guy since graduation last month," Rosalie babbled. "I mean you didn't even come out with us that night to the beach for the bonfire."

"I wanted to," Edward unenthusiastically answered. "Our family dinner party went longer than expected."

Rosalie nodded, "Oh, yeah sure. Did you ever decide what you're doing for college yet?"

Edward nodded, "I'm going to commute to that small community college in Port Angeles for a while then transfer to UDub once I'm ready."

He didn't have to even look at me for me to understand that the only reason he's going to Peninsula College is to be close to Liz. He had great grades; he could have just gone straight to Seattle. "That's what Bella is doing," Rosalie spoke for me. "Sasquatch is going to Dub too, so you guys will know somebody once you get there."

I remained silent as I ate my food. Edward just nodded his head at the new information obviously somewhere else in his mind, "That's cool. You still doing the year off?"

Rosalie talked as she chewed her last fork full of food, "Yeah. I don't know what the hell I want to do with my life. But I do know that I won't figure it out just from sitting in a classroom all day." Noticing that she ate all of the food on her plate she gave us a quick, "I'll be back" before shooting up from the table and going back into the kitchen leaving Edward and I alone.

Now, since that night my and Edward's relationship hasn't been exactly as close as it was. We can make polite chitchat whenever were around each other since we share some same friends and we were lab partners. But everything is just awkward. Every time that I look at him I can see his disappointment in me that I haven't told Alice. I mean the baby is due in less than a month now and every time I've come close to the truth I just bail. Alice has become one of my closet friends, I don't want her to forever look at me as the person that ruined her life, even though I am.

I'd like to think that if I ever told her that Edward and I could go back to at least being friends, but I don't know. Maybe even if I told the truth he would still want nothing to do with me since he knows how evil I really am now. I just know that Alice would, that's what's holding me back from telling her. I've already lost one best friend; I don't need to lose another.

But as I looked at him now there was something really off about his appearance. He did look miserable, even slightly twitchy, but it was beyond that. He looked almost physically ill. "What's wrong?" I blurted out from concern without a second thought.

Edward took a giant breath of air before his eyes made contact with mine for what felt like the first time in eons. I could feel that awkward tension built wall seem to lift magically as he spoke like he was talking in code, "I was in Port Angeles to avoid the baby shower. And it was a . . . bad day."

My eyes widened in understanding, "Christ."

He head nodded agreement. "They didn't warn me this time. So I wasn't ready when I walked in to have my own mother not recognize me."

In my mind I searched for words to say, I tried a bunch of combinations as I took in his face. The anger and pain were radiating from his eyes. Everything that I thought of to say was just, frankly, shit. I mean I could say the usual bland 'I'm sorry' that doesn't actually make the person you're saying it to feel better. I can't sympathize. Sure I have my own parental issues, who doesn't, but at least they can recognize me all the time. There's just nothing I could say to help the situation.

So, for once in my life, I kept my mouth shut.

Edward jumped slightly when I placed my hand on top of his. But he didn't pull his hand away like I half expected.

This is the most physical contact that we've had in months. I almost forgot about the little hum that my skin would produce wherever we touched. I forgot how terrified it made me. I forgot how nice it could feel at the same time.

His other cold pale hand fell on top of mine and gave a hearty squeeze. "Thank you," he whispered.

The sound of the front door slamming shut broke us apart with a jolt. Loud footsteps echoed from the hallway as the new houseguest arrived. My head unconsciously turned to see who is in the hallway as they pass by the opening to the dinning room.

Jasper's eyes land on mine, as he's strutting pass. His footsteps stammered then stopped in the entryway. A few odd seconds passed as we each wondered what to do, hoping that the other would do something first. Our typical dance as of late.

He raised his right hand only by the elbow in a small uncomfortable wave as he gave a short nod of his head in greeting, "Isabella."

I gave a nod back, "Jasper."

He doesn't bother with any polite small talk and I'm kind of grateful. We're currently at his baby shower when, at this time last year, we were in a romantic relationship. I didn't want to talk to him. I wouldn't have even come if Alice didn't beg. Jasper gave another nod of greeting towards Edward before continuing down the hallway to the main party in the living room.

"Holy shit. Well that was as awkward as walking in on your grandmother masturbating. Maybe even more so," Rosalie bluntly put it as she wondered back into the dinning room from her watching post in the archway once Jasper disappeared from sight. Her plate full once again.

My face contorted into a grimace as I turned my body fully back towards the table, "We. Images."

Rosalie snorted as she sat back down. "Please. Nana Swan lives in a nursing home. There's no need for her to give herself a 'hand'."

I shook my head, "I'm going to regret this. I know I'm going to regret this. But why?"

"Nursing homes are senior sex houses," she answered through a mouthful of tandoori chicken skewers. "Studies show that the number of STD reports in senior homes, and the elderly in general, are exploding. And they're not getting them from feeding those cute little duckies at the pond."

Edward and I wore very similar expressions of disgust as Esme comes stumbling into the dinning room while still magically keeping her wine glass steady and slurring, "Girls! We're about to start- Oh Ducky! You're here, great. That means I can finally introduce you to Mrs. Denali. All of her girls are here and they're dying to meet you!"

Edward's face and voice turned sour, "Actually it's been a long day Aunt Esme. I'm going to go upstairs."

"Don't be ridiculous Edward," Esme's tone became stern as she walks over and grabs his wrist with her hand not holding her glass. "They are our guests. We must be good hosts. That's just how it's done. Now come on and meet these lovely girls."

His miserably angry gaze met mine as he stood up and let Esme pull him out of the dinning room. Rosalie let out a sigh whilst blowing a raspberry with her lips, "Christ. So every family is fucked up, huh?"

"You don't know the half of it," I sighed as I thought about Liz and the look on Edward's face as he told me that today he was a stranger to his mother.

* * *

><p>"Here comes the plane, bitch!" Rosalie cackled while trying to shove a large spoon of mushy orange baby food in my face.<p>

I smacked her hand away. "What the fu-" she cut me off by sticking the spoon into my mouth. "Oh my God," I gagged through my disgust.

Rosalie, the asshole that she is, was tearing up with laughter at me as I jumped up and down trying not to swallow. A loud squeak of regency came from my closed mouth while I looked around for a napkin.

My eye caught some society women who were chatting a few feet away. I lunged forward, closing the distance, before grabbing the wine glass and napkin from one of the skinny blonde ladies' hand. I then, very unladylike, spat the contents of my mouth into the napkin in my left hand as I held the appalled lady's Chardonnay in my right.

Even with all of the mush out of my mouth the taste still lingered. If I weren't so desperate to be rid of the taste then I wouldn't have taken a giant gulp of the Chardonnay and swished it around my mouth before swallowing. But I was. Once the wine was down my throat and I caught my breath I was met with the disgusted stares of the two classy women in front of me. "Hello. Sorry about that. Taste bud emergency," I stammered mindlessly.

The looks on their faces didn't move an inch. I then slowly nodded, "Well then . . . thank you for the napkin." I started to walk away but then turned back abruptly and pushed the wine glass back into the very white hand of the one blonde woman. "Here's your wine back. Excellent choice. Like my mother always says, 'You can never go wrong with a nice Char.'" I started to laugh an uncomfortable forced laugh. These women kept as still as the Queen's guard. My weird laughter stopped dead in my throat and uncomfortable silence engrossed the situation for endless moments. I then quickly turned my back away and speed walked away from the most embarrassing moment of my life.

Rosalie was doubled over in laughter until I grabbed her bicep with my free hand and pulled her to the other side of the room, as far away from those women as possible. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you," I chanted repeatedly as I dragged.

"That was the best moment of my life. Totally made this baby shower worth it. Nothing is going to top that," Rosalie announced once her laughter dies out. We stopped at the corner of the farthest wall away from our previous position.

My death glare radiated as I scoffed, "Glad I can be of entertainment." I took a look at the cocktail napkin still in my hand and groaned a long, "Ewww," before dumping it on the giant arched bay window still behind us. "What the hell was that anyway? It tasted like week old throw up that got strained through Emmett's old gym socks."

She chuckled, "It was sweet potato apricot baby food."

"We seriously feed babies this shit?" I questioned.

"It must be the universal secret revenge for enduring labor."

I nodded, "Seems logical."

Esme's loud voice then echoed throughout the room announcing that it was time for presents. Rosalie and I stayed where we were as all the attendees gathered around Alice and Jasper seated in front of the mountain presents in the other corner of our wall. I caught a glance of Edward standing by French doors leading into the backyard near where the Baby Food Disaster of 2011 just occurred. Three girls stood around him that were engaging him in conversation. They all looked around our age. The oldest looking one was wearing thick-rimmed glasses while sipping from a wine glass and looking bored at the conversation. She had an untamed mass of curly pale blonde hair on her head while the youngest looking one in front of her had the same shade of pale blonde in a pin straight style. The other girl had curly hair like the oldest girl but it was more tamed and strawberry blonde. She looked like she was hanging on to every word Edward was saying with intense interest as she leaned her body closer to his.

I hated that ginger bitch.

Edward's eyes met mine from across the room with a face that could only mean help. I made large waving gesture acting like I had something really important to tell him. He returned his attention back to his companions and spoke again motioning to me before pulling himself away with a grateful expression on his face.

But before he could get far Esme called everyone's attention back towards the center as Alice and Jasper began unwrapping the gifts. Edward was then stuck by the French doors on the other side of the room unless he wanted to endure the wrath of drunk Esme by crossing through the gift opening circle, the only way to get to me with the couch blocking the other.

Alice and Jasper slowly opened present after present, unwrapping toys, basic supplies, and heaps of small super adorable clothes. The parents-to-be were laughing and smiling gift after gift. They kept on shooting each other these quick loving glances that made me feel . . . weird, almost sick. And not from jealousy, because believe me I sure as hell do not want to be the one having Jasper's baby. All of this baby stuff is making it real. The worst part for me is that they seem happy. This pulls me into this horrible glance of happiness of my own. Like maybe what I did wasn't so bad if its brought this much happiness to them.

But I'm not naïve. All I have to do is keep reminding myself that there aren't just two people in that baby making tango and the happiness has vanished as quickly as it came. Then the guilt reigns supreme once more.

Still, the realness of the situation is setting in around me. They're going to have a baby, a fucking baby. I mean there's no way I could see myself having a baby right now. They're lives weren't going to be the same ever again. All because of me. Even the happiness they're feeling right now is a lie. Now I like to think of myself as a realist and chances are they're not going to live happily ever after. In my mind, the best-case scenario is they get married in a few years, only to get divorced from resentment when the wee one will get fucked up. But they'll only resent each other and not the person they should be resenting. Me.

"Hey, Bella, are you alright?" Rosalie whispered in my ear. I could feel her hand

On my shoulder.

Not taking my eyes off of the happy couple I cleared my throat before answering, "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because your starting to breathe really fast and shallow, like you're about to hyperventilate."

I just shook my head at her hoping that she wouldn't push the issue.

Her voice was starting to sound panicked, "Okay, I really think that we should go outside for some air."

Shaking my head harder, I pushed off her arm from my shoulder. "I'm fine." I could feel my breathing get faster now that Rosalie mentioned it. But I didn't bother controlling it, I don't know if I could. All of a sudden I started to feel kind of hot.

"Bella, we are going outside. Now," she tried to sound stern but comforting at the same time but the panic in her voice was the most evident.

Her words just went in from one ear and out the other as my focus was still on Alice and Jasper. My throat was tightening. It felt like I was choking.

I could feel my heart beat grow louder and louder in my ears. My thoughts working in time with the beat.

_My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault . . ._

Jasper then smiled at Alice, this smile I've never seen, before placing his hand on her enlarged stomach and slowly rubbing it.

"It's all my fault," I whispered through my enclosing throat somehow.

Rosalie was in full on confusion mode now, "What are you talking about Bella? I think you're having a panic attack. We need to go outside, now."

"I got Alice pregnant!" I cried out loudly.

Every single face then turned to look at where the outburst came from. I ignored them and kept my eyes locked on Alice's as I pushed my way closer to her in the middle of the circle of people with Rosalie close on my heel. My breathing was still shallow and rapid. Hot tears were making there way down my cheeks as I choked out, "I'm so sorry Alice."

Alice's blue eyes look at me in confusion as she slowly stood up and wrapped her small hands around my upper arms holding my shaking frame in place.

"What are you talking about sweetie?" she asked in the nicest voice, like she was talking to a young child.

"I'm the reason you're pregnant."

She continued in the young child voice, "No, sweetie. You're not. We never had sex and you don't have a penis. Jasper got me pregnant"

I shook my head harder, "Technically yes. But I poked holes in the condom that Jasper use to keep in the truck."

Her grip on me loosened before she fully pulled her arms away and stepped backwards away from me. Her eyes were alive and wild with confusion. Her nice voice was replaced with mad and stern, "What are you talking about Bella?"

"At Mike's party back October just a few weeks after Jasper and I broke up," It all came pouring out of me. "I was really drunk and then the two of you came down the basement stairs looking so happy. Then he kissed you. I just fucking lost it. I left the party after I saw you. I was angry and heartbroken and drunk and jealous. I saw Jasper's truck parked outside. It was unlocked so I went into the truck looking for something to do to get back at him. I found the condom in the glove compartment and poked a bunch of holes in it was a needle from my purse before putting it back. I forgot about it the next day and didn't remember at all until I found you in the bathroom crying over a pregnancy test and you told me that it was Jasper's. I then felt this need to look out for you. I put a ticking baby making time bomb in place and it got used. I'm so sorry Alice. But our friendship is real, I promise you. It just started out through guilt. I just don't want the two of you going through your life only blaming each other for this. It's my fault."

Alice's face was frozen in shock. My breathing was growing ever more rapid as she dint say or do anything. My chest was tightening. I looked behind her at Jasper, who is normally so controlled in his emotions, look upon me in full red-faced rage. It was so quiet in the room besides my out of control breathing; I was waiting for a pin to drop.

I felt Rosalie close the space behind me as her arms wrapped around me and tried to pull me away, "Bella. We have to go outside. You're having a fucking panic attack. You need air." But I wouldn't budge.

Another pair of strong cold arms pulled me away from Rosalie's grasp and effectively pulled me away from the scene and out the French doors into the backyard. Once we were halfway across the yard and in the grass he stopped us. "Its okay, Bella. Just focus on me," Edward's voice was calm. He placed his elbows on my shoulders and cradled my face firmly into his hands. This forced my eyes to look into his as I grabbed onto his forearms to keep me steady. He kept his voice strong as he continued to say that everything was okay.

After a few moments the tightness in my chest and throat started to wear slightly. My grip on him loosened a bit. "That's good Bella," he continued. "Now just focus on your breathing. Deep breaths in and out, okay?"

Nodding the best that I could with his hands still in place I began breathing in slowly. After a few breaths I heard a commotion at the door, yelling to be exact. My breathing hitched in my throat. "Don't pay attention to that Bella," Edward continued. "Just keep breathing. In. . . Out. . . In . . ." I matched my breathing to his voice.

Slowly my body relaxed. Once my breathing was normal again and all of the tension gone from my body Edward whispered a soft, "Atta girl," before placing a real quick kiss on my forehead. I turned my face into his right palm and gave him a reciprocate thank you kiss in his hand before fully releasing my hold on his forearms. He then let go of my face and pulled away from me by a few inches.

I turned my attention back towards the house where the yelling was still occurring. Rosalie was holding back Jasper from just plain attacking me. Alice was screaming from behind them at Jasper, who was screaming at Rosalie, would was screaming at Jasper, who were all being screamed at by Esme at the door. I sighed before I yelled, "Let him go Rosalie."

She looked at be from behind her shoulder with sad eyes before moving away from Jasper. His stride was forcefully, which gave me a clue into the shit storm about to erupt towards me. Alice waddled after him as fast as she could. "What the fuck, Isabella?!" he growled at me when he was firmly planted in front of me. "I break up with you and you decided to fucking ruin my life?"

"Ruin your life?" Alice echoed from behind him as she caught up.

"Oh my God, Jasper!" I exploded. "Can you just, for fucking once in your life, call me Bella?! Christ. It was cute at first but now it's really annoying. And since we're no longer together I can finally fucking tell you that."

He shook his head, "You're such a fucking bitch! I'm so glad I dumped your ass. I mean what kind of person pokes holes in a condom? Somebody legitimately insane that's who. I should send get you condemned."

"Watch yourself," Edward warned him.

Jasper just ignored him. "You know what. This is all probably bullshit. I bet that you were the one that wanted to get pregnant so you poked the fucking holes before we broke up and are now playing it off as some drunken ploy just to not seem as crazy as you are."

I snorted, "Oh please. Believe me the last thing that I ever wanted was to have your baby. Now I get that you're angry. But don't you dare go and accuse me for bullshit that never happened. You can yell at me, but make it because of what I did. Not what you're diluting yourself into believing from your own hysterics."

"Okay, fine. You want me to yell at you for what you've caused?" Jasper was fuming, "I'm not going to college anymore. I'm working two jobs and already all of the money is going to the baby. I no longer have the future that I've planned. The one that you even fucking helped me plan. Does that make you happy?"

"Of course it doesn't. I may hate your guts but I never wanted to destroy your life."

"That's a little fucking hard to believe right now."

"I was angry and drunk. I wasn't thinking properly. Now I know that you know what's that like. You keyed up Charlie's police cruiser when he kicked you out after he caught you in my room after that party."

"This is completely on another fucking spectrum! All the chief had to do was sand down his car. You can't just sand away a baby."

I took a giant breath in before I started hyperventilating once more. "I understand that and I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it back. But I can't." I switched my gaze to Alice before continuing, "So I've been trying my hardest to help you anyway that I can. I get that you're angry now but I still want to help. Even if you won't let me be apart of the baby's life anymore, I'll figure something out. I know that I can't completely fix what I've done. Just please don't cut me out completely. I love you, Alice. You're my best friend."

Alice moved closer pushing Jasper away and occupying the space he just was right in front of me. Her eyes were hard as she looked at me. Then, like a flash, her small hand makes contact with my cheek. The loud crack of the slap echoed around the backyard.

My cheek stung like a bitch.

I turned my head back straight and looked into Alice's gaze. "I deserved that. And about a thousand more in my opinion."

"That was for lying and completely changing my whole life," Alice said purposefully.

I simply nodded my head in understanding.

She let out a shaky breath before continuing; "I can't just forgive you right now."

"I wasn't asking for it," I stated.

Licking her lips she sighed, "I think you should go."

I didn't need to be told twice. Ducking my head, I maneuvered around Alice and Jasper and made my way across the lawn. Rosalie followed right next to me and we ventured back around the lawn and onto the street.

We silently started the walk back towards my house a few blocks away. Once we were back on my street Rosalie broke the silence, "Wow. That made a whole lot of fucking sense actually."

I didn't say anything as we walked a bit more.

"Remind me never to borrow a condom from you ever again."

I couldn't help myself. I laughed loudly because for the first time in months I felt

guilt free. I could almost float from the lightness. Abruptly stopping our movement, I wrapped my arms around my most loyal friend in the tightest hug I could manage.

Once we separated we kept our arms around one another's waists as we continued the walk home.

And of course Rosalie being herself. She had to go ruin our nice moment with, "What the hell did you mean calling her your best friend?"

**A/N:**

**Thanks for the reviews from last chapter. Every single one of them made my day. **

**Please keep them coming! I welcome any comments. If you're not a big commenter that's cool. Just having you read is enough. I just love to know if you're enjoying the story so far. All you have to do is leave a smiley face! :)**

**Once again, thank you so much for reading!**

**-cynmonstrosity **


	10. Chapter 9: The New Beginning

_**Chapter Nine**_

"We?" My eyebrows almost left my face, they jumped so high. "There's no we."

Goddamn smirk shone like diamonds on his face. "Not yet but there will be."

My lips turned into a small smile. "You're mighty confident about yourself, aren't you?"

"You see, _that _is the nicest way that anyone has ever called me a cocky prick before. That means you like me."

I scoffed mockingly, "That doesn't mean shit."

"Doesn't it?" He winked as he leaned back in his chair.

I tried to keep my resolve but a smile unconsciously grew from my pursed lips.

He's an ass, but Lord help me, I like him.

* * *

><p>I blinked awake.<p>

Normally when I have these flashback dreams about Jasper I wake up with my heart pounding and my breathing ragged. But I was feeling eerily calm.

Unclutching the pillow that I was spooning, I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. Taking a deep breath, I raised my arms and rubbed my eyes with the heel of my hands.

That was a few days after we met. We were in the library, working on some homework in study hall. Well I was. He was watching me do homework as he doodled an elaborate scene of Godzilla fighting aliens. He even drew stick figures of us in the midst of the action. I was riding on the back of Godzilla like I was his jockey. Jasper's stick figure was the alien king. I'm chuckling even now thinking about our math teacher's stick figure being set on fire by Godzilla's fire breath and our science teacher being squashed by one of the space ships.

That drawing is still sitting in my desk drawer, along with about a hundred others. I thought about getting rid of them. Hell, I wanted to burn them with some of the other stuff. Still something stopped me when I came across all of the doodles he gave me. In the end I'm actually glad I didn't let Rosalie burn them during that first round of relationship memento purging. They're memories of some of the best parts of our relationship. So maybe eventually when I look back at us, I'll remember the good parts first.

Vibrations pulled me away from my thoughts. Blindly I reached under my pillow for my phone and swiped to answer the call. "Hello?" My voice whispered, still groggy from sleep.

A shy "Hey," echoed through the phone.

I cleared my throat before answering, "Hi," back.

There was some hesitation before I got a responding, "What are you doing?"

A sarcastic laugh escaped my mouth. "Oh, well it's 4:30 in the morning so I was just finishing up my 5K and now I'm about to start making fresh bread from the wheat I harvested whilst on my run."

"Good to see you're still yourself after everything this afternoon."

"Well you know what they say. You can take the truth out of the girl but...um...never mind. I lied. I didn't think that through. Just ignore everything I just said."

Chuckling erupted from the other side of the phone. "Yeah, still yourself."

"Was I ever...not...myself?" I thought out loud.

"No. That's one thing you definitely always are. Yourself."

I didn't know how to respond to that. So I kept silent.

After a long pause I heard a sigh that almost sounded like one of defeat, "You want to meet up for . . . food or something?"

I took a few moments to think it over before answering. "Um . . . yeah. Sure. Like now?"

"Yeah. I mean we're both up now."

I nodded, "Yeah. Okay."

"Okay. I'll meet you at the dinner in 20."

"I'll see you there." I said in goodbye before hanging up the phone.

* * *

><p>The bell dinged as I came through the front door to The Fork's Dinner, the only 24-hour establishment in town. A few customers were scattered along the counter, but otherwise it looked empty in the still dark early morning light. The men looked mainly like loggers and construction men grabbing a bite to eat before hitting the daily grind.<p>

Mary, the daughter of the owner who works the night shift during the summer when she's home from college, gave me a friendly wave and told me to sit anywhere before returning to filling the coffee mugs of a pair of bearded loggers.

I glanced around the restaurant and saw the bronzed back of the Edward's head in the only booth that was occupied in the entire restaurant.

The part of me that was a girl was suddenly cursing myself for not putting on a better outfit. I just came here in the clothes I went to bed in, one of my many Forks Police Department t-shirts and a pair of Emmett's old black basketball shorts that I stole from Rosalie. I didn't even bother with my hair, just leaving it in the, now messy, side braid that I did for bed.

With a deep breath, I just shook off those thoughts. I mean he's seen me, so why am I so worried about right now? I rolled my eyes at myself for caring at what he thought and made my way over to the booth.

As I approached I gave, what I hoped sounded like, a nonchalant, "Hey," before sitting down across from him.

"Hi," he answered back as he stirred his coffee. We fell into a silence. His eyes were staring at me and I was staring back without meeting his gaze. His hair was unruly like he just rolled out of bed too. It was getting a bit shaggy; he'll probably get it cut soon. He never liked it too shaggy. There was a tinge of purple underneath his eyes saying that he didn't sleep well tonight. A bit of scruff was showing up along his cheeks and chin.

Mary broke our silence by approaching the booth, "Hey, Bella. What can I get for you?"

I cleared my throat and turned my head to Mary. "Um, coffee and some of that magical french toast. Horace knows how I like it."

"Extra butter, cinnamon, and sugar. Syrup on the side with two orders of bacon." Mary recited from heart (one of the few perks of living in a small town) as she smiled, writing down my order on her notepad before walking away.

"You're an angel!" I yelled out to her retreating figure.

I turned back to find Edward shaking his head, "You're going to die from a heart attack at the age of 27, I swear."

I scoffed, "Oh, come on. Give me _some_ credit. Charlie hasn't had a heart attack and he eats twice the amount that I do."

"That's actually pretty incredible considering he should be 600 pounds then." he admitted.

Mary came back to fill up our coffee mugs and tell us that our food will be up in a few minuets. As she walked away, the air seemed to shift as Edward and I were left alone again.

"How are you doing?" I asked him, knowing that he would know that I was referring to his morning with Liz.

He shrugged as he picked up his mug, "Better. I had a hell of a distracting afternoon. That got my mind off of my mother."

As I reached for my usual 3 packets of sugar, I finally asked the question that's been buried in the back of my mind all night, "So, um, what exactly happened when I left?"

Edward put down his own mug before answering, "Yelling, mostly. A lot of yelling."

"I was kind of hoping to maybe fast forward to the ending results _of_ the yelling," I explained before stirring in all of the sugar and taking my first sip of heavenly coffee.

"Well, let's just say that you're no longer the world's favorite person over at the house at the moment."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, I already got that I'm public enemy number one right now."

"After you left, Jasper and Alice got into this huge fight about what he said to you."

I involuntarily perked up at that, "Alice defended me?"

Edward shook his head, "Not exactly. It was more about what he said. Not that he was saying it to you."

A sigh escaped my lips as I slumped back down in my side of the booth. "Do you think she'll ever forgive me?"

"There's a better chance with her than with Jasper at this point." Edward opened his mouth to say more but then Mary came back carrying our plates of food, placing them on the table before leaving us with a cheerful, "Enjoy now!"

"But that's like saying there's a 1% chance compared to a 0.1% chance." He continued before diving into his omelet.

I gave a simple nod of my head, "That's what I figured. But that's still ten times more than I deserve considering Alice got the brunt of my mistake. She deserves to be angry, more than Jasper. Even though he has a right to be angry too."

He didn't try to tell me that I was wrong, that none of this is my fault. He never has. And I was okay with that, even thankful. Especially after I spent all night with Emmett and Rosalie both telling me that none of this was my fault and that she would have gotten pregnant without me. Even if that was true, there's no way of knowing now. So it was nice having somebody not try to make me feel false optimism about my situation. Somebody who is just letting it be.

After a few minuets of silence eating our individual meals I asked, "How'd the fight end? What happened between them?"

Edward wiped his mouth off with a napkin before responding. "Alice basically asked him if he really wanted to do this with her, because if he didn't then he should just leave now. She already had one man leave her because of the baby so what's another one. Now Jasper was still pretty heated up from . . . well _you_, so he told her that now wasn't the time to ask him that question because he wasn't entirely sure what his answer would be." He continued with a sigh, "Alice then told him that he needed to leave and that they would talk once he calmed back down."

I snorted into my coffee, "Now I _know_ that he didn't like that."

"He didn't." Edward's mouth turned into a smirk as he went on, "But then Aunt Seem jumped in. He seemed to change his mind on the leaving part pretty quickly after that."

"And what exactly are Esme's feelings toward me at this moment?"

"Just like you said before. You're public enemy number one at the Cullen residence right now, sweetheart." he answered simply before taking another mouthful of coffee.

I gaped, "Are you saying that I surpassed Carlisle on Esme's shit list?"

He nodded, "I wouldn't take it personally though. I just think she's happy that she can blame somebody other than her daughter and her own bad parenting skills."

I thought about his words while I chewed on a strip of my bacon. "So if I'm public enemy number one then what are you doing calling me in the middle of the night and demanding food with me? Doesn't that like make you a traitor to your family?" I questioned after I swallowed.

"Something like that I guess," he joked, ignoring the first part of my question. "And I wasn't _demanding_," he protested as he reached across the table and grabbed a few pieces of my bacon. I went to slap his hand but the fucker was too quick for me to stop him and all I hit was table.

I leaned back into the booth and mustered up the dirtiest look I could manage. "Really? My bacon. Really?"

Edward rolled his eyes as he chewed, "Oh give me a break. You literally have two orders. Plus I'm risking the wrath of my family by being here."

"Which was your idea," I pointed out.

"So the least you can do is let me have a measly two strips of damn bacon," he continued as if I never said anything.

My eyebrow rose as I asked him once again, "Why are you here then?"

His green eyes bore straight into mine. With a sigh of defeat he answered, "Why do you think?"

"Because you're a fucking idiot who, for some unknown reason, still likes me. I mean were you not there today?"

Edward broke the eye contact by throwing his head back in laughter. "No reason? I have plenty of reason, _especially_ after today. That was incredibly brave what you did today. I mean, I would have liked it to have happened a little sooner. But beggars can't be choosers, right?"

A smile broke though my lips without meaning to. I quickly tried to hide it by sucking in my lips, but he saw it.

"Plus the way you looked in that dress that you were wearing earlier is another _excellent _reason."

The tense atmosphere seemed to vanish as a lighter mood settled around us. I decided to go along with the new mood and freed my lips to give him a smirk, "You liked that dress, huh?"

"Very much so," he nodded and I saw his tongue flick out of his mouth and lick his lips. "That was a good . . .um . . . color on you."

"Then I hate to break it to you. But that's your aunt's dress." Confusion crossed his face. "So whatever you imagined _me_ doing in that dress, just think about your aunt doing it."

Horror grew across his face as he shut his eyes and began to rub them. "Jesus. Why would you do that to me?"

Through my laughter I admitted, "I'm sorry. I just couldn't help myself."

"Christ, you're a fine fucking piece of work." He muttered.

I grinned, "A fine fucking piece of work that you _like." _

Edward rolled his eyes at me as Mary approached us with more coffee. "And how was everything today Bella and, um, Bella's friend. I'm sorry I don't know your name."

He gave her his classic side smile. "I'm Edward. Bella's boyfriend."

I did a double take at his words. I thought my eyes were goanna pop out of my head at the shock. But Mary continued, not noticing the looks I was sending towards Edward, "Oh that great. You know I never liked her and Jasper. They didn't seem to, like, _click_ fully. Like there were a few pieces left out of the puzzle or something. Then I heard about the way he broke up with her and-"

"Hey, Mare. Would you mind grabbing us the check?" I interrupted her.

She smiled, "Oh sure. No problem," before walking off again.

My attention then turned back to my companion. "What the fuck? So you're my boyfriend now?"

He shrugged before nonchalantly drinking some more coffee, "Just thought I'd try it out."

"You know, a normal person would have just asked me."

A giant smile grew on his face, "Do you _want_ me to ask you?"

I shrugged playing indifferent, "I'm just saying that it would be nice to be asked, like a person."

Mary came back then with the check. Before I could even move an inch Edward gave her a twenty from his pocket. "Thanks for the great service Mary. Nice meeting you." She gave him a smile and wished us a great day before heading off to the needs of the other customers.

Edward rose from the booth like air, while I stumble, hitting the underneath of the table with my knees in the process. His body shook with muffled laughter as I finally stood up straight. Pursing my lips, I shot him the bird as I walked pass him towards the door. I didn't get far before I felt him fall into step next to me, silently lacing my right hand with his left.

Outside the pre-dawn darkness had grown to the pale lightness that came before sunrise. I lead us to my truck at the end of the small parking lot before turning around to look at him. "So I guess you should be getting back before your aunt or Alice wakes up, huh?" I asked him as I leaned my back against the door of my truck.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" he questioned back as he smirked at me.

"No," I responded as my eyes darted to our still intertwined fingers. "I just don't want you getting into any trouble." I lifted my head back up to see his face. "It'd be harder to sneak out to see me if they caught you."

He smiled down at me as he slowly moved his body closer to mine, "Is that the Bella way of saying that you want to see me?"

I rolled my eyes, "Well you're the one throwing around the term 'boyfriend'."

Edward's body was flushed against my own now, fully pressing me against the cool metal. His tongue darted out to lick his pale pink lips before challenging me, "So what if I am? Are you going to stop me?"

"Are you going to _ask_ me?" I questioned back.

His eyelids lowered as his free hand went to the back of my neck. "Maybe later," he whispered before his hand pulled my head to his, colliding our lips.

Unlike our first kiss, this one didn't cause me to panic and run away. Actually it was kind of the opposite. I was relaxing into him, I was doing anything but running away this time.

My hand that wasn't laced in his moved from his waist, up his back, and into his long soft hair. "You need a haircut," I whispered between kisses.

I felt his lips turn into a smile. A quick, "I'll get right on that," was spoken sarcastically before his mouth was back to mine.

Eventually we slowed, and then finally parted once air was absolutely nessecary. Our breathing was in sync and labored as we stared at each other. The looks in our eyes matched. We were scared. But it was a good scared.

I broke our silence, "So are you going to ask me or what?"

Edward shook his head and detached himself away from me fully, now standing straight in front of me. "You want to go for a run in a few hours?"

**A/N:**

**How's it going everybody?**

**I love the reviews and I'm so glad to have some faithful readers that take the time to review. It helps me with my writing if I know how you guys are responding to it. **

**But anyway I wanted to do a lighter chapter since the last few have been kind of emotionally draining on Bella. **

**There's only another chapter and then maybe an epilogue. I'm not sure yet. But the small story that came to me while watching a bad teen movie is a few years ago is coming to an end. **

**Have a wonderful day and thank you for reading!**


	11. Chapter 10: The Redemption

_Chapter Ten_

"Join this club. _No this club! _No this one. No the other one." I mocked in many different voices as Edward and I walked through the giant room of posters and cardboard displays.

He shook his head at me as he stopped at one of the club sports tables. "We're going to be here for the next two years. It wouldn't hurt you to try to make some friends, Birdy."

I groaned, "Don't call me that."

"I'll stop calling you that once you stop flipping me the bird constantly."

"I prefer to think if it as a gesture of endearment," I offered.

"As Birdy is my term of endearment for you, my darling" he countered back. Which made me roll my eyes and flip him the bird.

We've been here at the Peninsula College orientation for what felt like eons. I was beyond ready to leave.

I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind and leaned on his back, resting my chin on his shoulder. " I don't need any new friends though." I offered going back to the previous conversation. "I have you, Rosalie, and Emmett. I think I'm done."

"Emmett left for Dub a few days ago and I would bet you good money that Rosalie is going to go after him within a month."

I turned my head so my lips were next to his ear. "Are you saying that you're not enough for me?" I whispered.

A smile grew on his lips as he kept his eyes on the club soccer information. "I would _never_ say that." He picked up another flyer to add to his growing collection. "Now come on, I want to go to the next table." I shook my head in protest but he began walking anyway. So I kept my arms around him and dragged my own feet after his.

I could feel him laughing as we walked, "I feel like I'm dragging around a 5-year-old to this. Not the almost 18-year-old that I'm dating."

My eyes rolled so hard I could practically see the back of my head. "Okay fine. I'll behave," I groaned as I let go of my hold on him.

Edward grabbed my hand, "I didn't say that you had to let go." I let out a chuckle at his cheesiness while I let him lead us to more tables.

He participated in small talk with other students while I stood next to him wishing to be anywhere but here. I watched him as we went from table to table. He didn't want to miss out on a single one, he wanted to know all of his options. "Why are you even here Edward?" I asked as we started our third circuit of the tables.

"What do you mean?" He questioned back while shooting a confused glance at me.

I stopped walking which pulled him to a stop since our hands were joined. "I mean why are you going to community college? You have plenty of money and you graduated third in our class. I get that you want to be near Liz but this can't be what's best for you."

He ignored my question, "What about you Bella? You're smart too."

"Call me crazy, but I don't want a shit ton of student loans. Or have you forgotten that my father is the police sheriff of a small town. Not exactly big money. And Mom and Phil aren't exactly jumping at the chance to pay."

"You could have applied for scholarships. I mean have you even asked your mom and stepdad?"

I sighed before I answered, "No, because Phil had to work his way through poverty to get what he has and according to him that's how everyone should do it. It builds character, and now that's what Mom believes."

A tense silence developed between us as a stalemate was reached. Both of us knowing that our choices could have, and probably should have, been different. But we made our choices for the reasons that we did and there's no going back.

I knew our tense moment passed when I saw Edward's shoulders relax with a sigh, "I'm sorry. It's just . . . Aunt Esme was getting on my case, saying the same thing earlier. I know that it's not the best path for my education since I want to get into medicine, but whenever I thought about leaving her . . . especially when her memory is getting worse . . ."

"Hey," I interrupted him as I placed my right hand on the side of his neck and used my thumb to smooth his cheek up and down, "You don't have to explain it to me. I get it, I was with you when we saw Liz earlier." His eyes held a large amount of gratitude as they looked at me. "You Momma's boy," I teased him with a smirk to change the mood.

He groaned at my new nickname for him. I could feel the vibrations of it through my hand, making me shudder slightly. "Yeah, I guess that's me," he admitted.

"That's okay. To tell you the truth, I have a soft spot for Momma's boys," I smiled and bit my lip.

His head cocked to the right as he have me his crooked grin, "Is that right?"

I licked my lips before nodding my head. Both our heads both moved forward, meeting our lips together. As I made my move to deepen the kiss (all I have to do is lightly bite his bottom lip and he's putty in my hand) he pulled away. "Oh no you don't. I want to do another lap to see if I missed anything," he said.

"No," I groaned, "Let's leave. I'm tired and there's no possible way that you missed anything."

"One last lap and then we can leave." I groaned at his weds some more. "I'll buy you whatever you want from McDonalds." He bribed.

"And then nap?" I asked perking up at his words.

He nodded, "And then nap."

"Fine," I gave in with a sigh. "For the McFlurry. And for the nap. Always for nap."

Edward's voice dropped an octave as he whispered to me, "How serious are you about this nap?"

Acting oblivious to his sexual innuendo, I pondered my answer for a moment, "I'd say pretty committed. I would even let nap be the little spoon. _That's_ how much I care."

His eyes rolled at me, "You know what I mean."

I hooked my arms around his neck, "_That _sounds pretty great as well." I leaned my face as close to his as I could go without our lips touching. Edward's eyes became hooded as I moved. "And you know my stance on that," I whispered, "_Just ask me_."

His eyes sprang open, snapping out of his lust daze. "Nice try, Birdy." He broke out of my grip and moved away from me to start his final lap of the tables.

"Ahh! No you don't!" I yelled and jumped in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. "It's been a month since the baby shower. I'm not going to reject you or anything. Just ask me for fuck sakes!"

Edward's eyebrows rose, "You want me to ask you to be my girlfriend in the middle of a community college involvement fair?"

"I'm not picky," I shrugged.

He sighed, taking a piece of my hair between his fingers and twirling it. "It's not that I don't want to, you know, make it 'official' or whatever. I just don't want to have to hide it, to anyone, when I do ask you."

I nodded in understanding. Things have been tense for Edward back at the house since the baby shower. Seems that Esme and Alice haven't exactly forgiven him for defending me. According to him they've been distant and very passive towards him. So we decided that it would be for the best to keep our relationship from them until I work things out with them. But Charlie isn't an idiot and neither are Rosalie and Emmett. They know, they're just keeping it on the down low for us. We didn't even think about Mary the waitress telling someone until days later. But thankfully when we reached her she promised us that she hasn't said anything to anyone.

"Hey," he whispered to pull me out of my thoughts, "Have I ever told you how happy I am that you're going to the same school as me?"

"No."

"Well I am. I would go out of my mind being here by myself."

My mouth grew in a giant grin, "Well of course! Because I'm just so entertaining and-"

"Modest," he interjected. "Apparently."

I was about to snap back with a witty comeback when his phone started ringing. I waited as he answered with a, "Hello?"

As he listened to the person on the other end I turned away to look around the gym at the dwindling involvement fair. "Wait. Like _actual_ labor?" Edward's panicked voice asked.

That peaked my interest as I turned back to look into his surprised eyes. "What are you talking about?" He spoke into the phone, "She's not due for, like, another two weeks."

I could faintly hear the yelling on the other end saying, "Babies come when they want to fucking come Ducky! Just get your ass to the hospital!"

Edward's eyes rolled at his aunt, "Yeah, okay. I'll be there soon." He then hung up before she could get in another word.

My breathing sped up, "So Alice is in labor? Like the baby is about to become an actual person?"

He nodded, "Yeah. Come on, I have to take you home."

"I guess that means no McFlurry," I sighed disappointed before his hand grabbed mine leading us out the door and to his car.

Once we were back in the car, he sped off into the rain and onto the highway. There's this uneasiness that's running through my body as we drive. Alice and I talked about this day almost constantly. I was suppose to be there, telling jokes, showing YouTube videos, feeding her ice chips, and anything else she wanted to distract her from the fact that a watermelons about to come out of her lady bits.

"You okay?" Edward asked concerned. "You're looking pale. Well paler that usual."

I rolled my eyes, "Hardy har har." He gave me a pointed look before looking back at the road. I sighed, "It's just that . . . Alice and I were planning about today. When the baby was born I was suppose to put this Frosty the snowman top hat on and a corncob pipe in my mouth and yell 'Happy Birthday' just like him. Then I was supposed to do some of those confetti poppers and dance around the whole wing."

He laughed, "That sounds like it would have been great." I nodded sadly and went back to looking out the window as the scenery blurred by. I felt his warm hand slide into mine as we crossed back into Forks.

Next thing I know Edward is pulling into my driveway and his hand letting go of mine to put the car in park. "You should come inside before you leave. I'll give you the Frosty hat so you can do it," I told him.

His responding smile was a sad one, "That sounds great, Birdy."

With the car turned off we ventured into the house and up the creaky stairs into my messy room. Edward plopped himself onto my purple bed like he owns the place while I began searching through all of my shit.

Minuets passed while I dug through everything with Edward giving me shit about cleaning my room once in a blue moon. While I flipped him the bird for the seventh time in fifteen minuets I heard my phone go off on my end table. "Put that on speaker," I told him as I started going through my desk.

Edward swiped the screen for me a couple of times then I heard a panicked, "_Bella_!" echo through the speaker.

I practically got whiplash as my head turned towards the phone. "Alice?" I answered as I flew across my room and onto my bed, climbing over Edward to pick up my phone, which forcefully pinned him under me as I used his stomach as a seat.

"Yeah it's me. I'm in labor. Holy shit, it fucking hurts!"

I chuckled, "Yeah, I heard that happens. Did you get the spinal tap thing yet?"

"No!" She was practically crying by now. "They say I can't have it until I'm dilated more."

"I'm sorry to hear that sweetie," I sympathized. But I couldn't help but have a huge grin. I mean, _she's taking to me._

Alice was full on sobbing now, "Bella, I need you. Please come to the hospital. I don't want to do this without you. I'll call Edward to come and pick you up."

"There's no need Al, he's already here," I said without thinking.

"What? What's he- FUCK!" She interrupted herself with groans of pain. "Whatever. I don't care right now. Just get your asses here!"

I nodded, "Okay. We'll be right there Al. Do you need us to bring you anything?"

"Yeah! Can you pick me up a McFlurry? I'm starving."

Edward's body vibrated with laughter from under my butt. I smiled and agreed to pick one up for her. But before we hung up I said, "Alice . . . thank you."

"Love you, Bella."

A small whimper came through my throat before I told her, "Love you, Alice."

We hung up and I smiled down at Edward. "Looks like I get my McFlurry after all!"

* * *

><p>Elated. That was the word to describe my current state as we pulled out of the McDonalds drive thru, ice cream in hand.<p>

_Alice called me!_

She wanted me there for the birth of her child. It wasn't exactly forgiveness but it was a start. I was feeling over the fucking moon. Edward was laughing at my constant giggles and squeals of joy.

"I'm so glad you're not like this usually. I don't think I could handle you like this 24/7," Edward teased as he exited onto the highway that will take us back to Port Angeles and the closest maternity ward,

I chuckled, "Do you know how exhausting that would be? The only way somebody would be able to do that would be a Scarface level pile of uppers. You know, instead of the mountains of cocaine. They'd be mountains of uppers."

"Oh thanks, I would have never gotten that," he said sarcastically.

I was shooting him the bird once more, when my phone started ringing. I swiped to answer without looking at the screen and brought it up to my ear, "Hello?"

"Bella. I can't . . . I can't do this."

"Jasper?" I asked as my eyebrows knitted together in confusion and shock. Edward did a double take at me, his eyebrows practically jumping off his face. "Did you just call me Bella?"

"Um . . . yeah. I guess I did," Jasper's voice stammered into my ear.

It took me a second to register exactly what he was saying before, "Wait. Wait. Wait. Stop. What do you mean you can't do this?"

"The baby is coming. The baby is going to be here today. It's going to be real and I'm going to fuck this up. I'm going to fuck the _baby_ up," he freaked to me.

"Hey. Calm down there Jasper. Why are you telling _me_ this and not Alice? Wait, are you even with her right now?"

He paused for a moment, "No, I'm at the garage. I. . . I can't tell her. Not after she forgave me for what I said at the baby shower. I told her that I'm never going to leave the baby and that I wasn't lying when I said that."

"_Were _you lying to her? Are you actually thinking about bailing on them?"

"I don't know. Maybe," his breathing was ragged with panic.

"Jasper, you're just scared. You have to calm down, okay?"

"No. Don't you, of all people, tell me to calm down!" He screamed at me.

Now I was getting mad myself, "Then why the hell did you call me? If you called me thinking that I would tell you that it's okay for you to leave Alice and the baby then you might as well hang up right now."

Jasper paused for a few moments before going into hysterics, "I don't know. Maybe. It's just, _you _use to be the person that I would call about anything and everything. I knew that you would hear me out. I can't tell anyone else what I'm thinking right now because they would just give me all of this shit and call me a shitty faith-" He cut himself off with a gagging noise. "Oh God, Bella. I can't even say the fucking word."

I sighed, "Okay Jasper. Look. I'm not going to sugarcoat this. What's about to happen to you is really, _really, _scary. But you are the father of this child whether you can say the word or not. And, I'm not going to lie to you, it's going to be hard. Especially since you guys are still teenagers in a new relationship. But you have to try. Tell me that you'll try."

He didn't say anything. "Can you tell me that you'll talk to Alice about what your feeling right now?" I tried.

Still nothing came over from his end. So I pleaded once more, "Can you _promise _me you'll go to meet your baby today? You don't have to promise anything else, right now. Just say that you'll go to meet your child."

He whispered a small, "Okay," to me.

I let out a sigh of relief, "Thank you. Now, _I_ promise _you _that all of this uncertainty and doubt in yourself will go away the second you that baby."

"I still don't know what I'm going to do after today, Bella."

"Do you love Alice?" I asked.

"Yes."

I licked my lips and took a deep breath, "Do you love her more than you loved anyone else before? Even me. And don't worry about hurting my feelings."

He hesitated a bit before giving me a, "Yes."

"Then I think you know what you have to do Jazz," I stated. "You'll be happy though. I can tell. You two are good together."

"We were good once. Weren't we?"

I took a giant breath before admitting, "Yeah, we were good. . . great even."

The silence that followed on the phone was deafening. I looked over at Edward, who is stuck only hearing my half of the conversation. He was staring at the road with this quiet rage on his face. His hands on the steering wheel were gripping so hard that his knuckles were white.

Sighing, I ended the silence, "But then we weren't, and neither one of us wanted to admit it. So we kept on, acting like things were still great even when they weren't. Until you realized what I didn't and broke it off. I didn't understand it then, that's why I was so angry. But I _do_ get it now. So I want to . . . and I can't believe I'm saying this . . . _thank you_ for breaking up with me. And I'm so sorry about everything I did out of my anger. But, you know, bitches be crazy."

As Jasper chuckled on the phone, I looked back over at Edward. His posture was still tense, but less so. His knuckles were once again its normal light peach instead if white. His eyes were still on the road though, not looking at me.

"Um hey, Bella?" Jasper voice in my ear pulled my attention away from Edward.

"Yeah?"

"You should come to the hospital. I know Alice misses you and it would mean a lot to her for you to be there," Jasper told me.

My heart warmed, "Thank you, Jasper. I'm already on my way with Edward. Alice called earlier. Now it's time for you to get your ass on the road too."

"You're right," he agreed. "We'll talk more when I get there, okay?"

I nodded even though he couldn't see it, "That sounds like a plan."

We both hung up without another word. I fell back into the seat with a "Jesus Christ" escaping my lips. I grabbed my Oreo McFlurry from the cup holder and ate a few delicious spoonfuls as I processed what just happened.

Next to me Edward mumbled angrily, "So, your ex-boyfriend just called you. For advice on whether or not to abandon my baby cousin and their kid."

"Um, yeah," I answered through a mouthful of ice cream. I swallowed before continuing, "But I convinced him to come to the hospital."

Edward's fingers tapped on the steering wheel in annoyance, "And why exactly is he calling _you_?"

I almost spat out my ice cream. "Oh my God. Are you jealous?"

"What?" He blurted out, turning into the hospital parking lot. "Don't be ridiculous, Birdy."

I let out a little scream and put my ice cream back into its cup holder, "You are totally jealous!"

"Nope," he spoke to quickly while popping the 'p'.

The car slid into an empty spot as I sat up in my seat, unfastening my seat belt. "Oh, _of course_, you're not jealous," I spoke sarcastically, "Because if you _were _jealous then you would be focusing on the fact that he's my ex instead of the fact that he was thinking about abandoning your pregnant cousin."

He groaned as he put the car into park, "Can't it be both?"

I smiled at him as I watched him take of his own seatbelt. "No. You're jea-l-ous!" I exaggerated as I sang it to him.

"Oh sue me! I don't like my girl talking to her fucking ex-boyfriend!" He yelled irritated.

My smile grew bigger at his irritation, "You're cute when you're jealous."

He liked his lips from frustration before asking, "So. You two were 'good' together?"

I rolled my eyes at him, "Yes. Once." I waited a few moments to really make him sweat before I added, "But we're better."

Edward's head turned to look at me, "Do you mean that?"

I leaned over the car console to cup his face with my right head. "Yes. My jealous, emotionally needy, Momma's boy," I teased before giving him a couple short and sweet kisses.

He pulled back, taking my hand from his face and keeping it in his. "You should be my girlfriend," he deadpanned to me as he looked in my eyes.

I chuckled, "Are you asking me or telling me?"

"Can't it be both?" He joked as he repeated what he said moments before.

"Okay," I answered once our laughter died down. "But you should be my boyfriend."

"I think I could make that work," he flashed me that side grin of his before kissing me soundly once more. "Let's go see the miracle of birth," he sighed as we pulled away.

* * *

><p>The entire way up to the maternity ward we kept giving each other these looks and smiles. I was back on my cloud nine. This might be the best day ever, even with that boring ass orientation this afternoon.<p>

We checked in with the front desk before heading down the sterile looking white and blue hallway that would take us to room 853, where Alice is in labor. "How do you know we're going in the right direction?" I asked him as we turned another into yet another identical corner.

"I'm sorry are you completely incompetent? Because from where I sit it seems all you fucking do is stick things in tubes and walk away. The intelligence required to do that isn't very high, sweetheart. I'm pretty sure the fetus in my daughter's stomach can do that! Now go and get Sasha to perform the damn epidural already!"

A nurse looking like she's about to burst into tears came running out of one of the room that Esme's voice erupted from. "Well I guess that answers my question," I stated before we made way to enter where the nurse just fled.

Edward went in ahead of me as I stalled at the door. Alice greeted him happily. As Esme, in lieu of a hello, continued on a rant to him about the hospital. But before she got to far into it, Alice interrupted. "Where's Bella?"

His head turned towards me and motioned for me to come out of the doorway. I took a giant breath in and out before moving into the hospital room. When I came into view Alice's tired face lit up from her place on the hospital bed. Esme was standing off to the far side of the room still irritated from the nurse. I went to stand next to Edward at the foot of Alice's bed. "Hey Alice," I smiled back at her.

"Is that ice cream for me?" She asked me when she saw the McFlurrys in my hands.

I nodded before walking around to the side of her bed handing her one of the ice creams. "So...um, how are you doing?" I asked nervously.

After she swallowed she uttered, "Better now. But this is really fucking hard. I have to wait until I'm another centimeter dilated to get the damn spinal tap."

Esme sighed from couch along the wall, "For the last time Alley Cat. It's called an epidural."

"Okay," I tried to put a positive spin on this. "But a centimeter is like nothing! I'm sure that even Edward is dilated one. That shouldn't take long at all."

"It's been an hour," Alice groaned as she ate her McFlurry. "This is really delicious, by the way."

"It _is _ the worlds greatest dessert," I agreed.

Alice, Edward, and I all chuckled. But it ended when Alice started moaning and groaning like an award-winning porn star in pain. I looked frantically over at Edward who just gave me the same look back. "It's okay Alice. Just breathe," I tried to calm her down and placed my McFlurry on the table before giving her my hand to hold. "Okay...ow. _Ow_. Ow ow ow. GOD DAMN IT ALICE! OW!" I joined in her screaming as she squeezed my hand with a fucking vice grip.

After her contraction ended and the feeling in my hand came back there was a silence in the room. I wanted to talk to Alice alone so hinted at Edward, "Hey E, you mind getting us me some coffee?"

Thankfully Edward got my drift and went along with it, "Sure thing, Birdy. Aunt Esme you want to come with? Maybe we'll run into that nurse again and you can make her cry some more." Edward really knew how to get his Aunt to do something.

Esme stood from the couch insulted adjusting her blazer, "It doesn't make me a bad guy if I let somebody know that they aren't doing their job adequately, Edward." She strutted her way pass him in a stressed huff. Edward threw me a wink before following her out the door.

Once we were alone, I turned back towards Alice and sat down on her bed. "I'm so sorry," I just jumped right into it. "When I poked holes in that condom, I wasn't thinking about my actions. I was only thinking about the anger I felt towards Jasper. I didn't think anything would come of it. And I especially didn't think about who else's life I was tampering with. I've lived with this unbelievable guilt since I found you in that bathroom and realized what I did."

Alice thought about my words for the longest moments of my life before asking, "Are you only friends with me because of your guilt?"

I decided to tell the truth. "At first, yes. But it grew out of that rapidly once I got to know you better. We really are friends, best friends even. I really do want you and this baby in my life."

"Thank you for being honest." Alice took in a deep breath, "But you know what? It doesn't really matter how this happened. I mean there's always the million different factors in play that cause the outcome of our lives. So it might have been you. It was defiantly Jasper and I. Maybe it was divine intervention. Hell we could possibly even blame Mike, Rosalie, Edward, or anyone at that party. But what's the point in blaming anyone? What's done is done. All you can do really is just accept the outcome and move on. So, with that being said, I forgive you."

Tears filled my eyes at her words, but they didn't fall. "Thank you," I whispered through my choked up throat.

Alice smiled at me, picking up my hand to hold in hers. "Well now that we got that out of the way. Can I please freak out to you over the fact that the god damn father of this fucking child isn't here?!"

I wiped away the tears from my eyes with my free hand while saying, "Don't worry Alice. Jasper's on his way. He called me earlier."

"Seriously?" She asked surprised.

I chuckled, "Um, yeah actually. Let me tell you, that was defiantly a call I wasn't expecting."

"Why'd he call you?" Alice wondered innocently.

Telling her the truth, about how he was in and emotional self-battle and about to pack up and leave, crossed my mind. But as I looked into Alice's scared ice blue eyes, I couldn't bring myself to tell her the things that Jasper should be. "He wanted to clear the air between us. With this new life beginning for him, he just wanted to make sure the past was put to rest. It was actually pretty nice. We're for sure in a better place now than we were at the baby shower."

She let out a semi-forced chuckle at my bad joke about the baby shower. "FUCK," Another contraction took over then. Alice was in serious pain, and it's still pretty early on in her labor. This time I let her squeeze the life out of my hand without complaint.

By the time the contraction passed Alice was full on sobbing. I moved to sit right next to her, wrapping my arms around her in a hug. I told her calming things as I smoothed down her short hair and let her cry. Another contraction came and went before she spoke again. "Do you think I'm going to be a good mother?"

I smiled down at her, "Better than good. You're going to be great Al. This kid is one lucky ass motherfucker for winning the mother lottery."

Her head leaned on my shoulder with a sad smile. "What if Jasper and I can't make it work?"

"Then you'll figure it out. My parents aren't together and I'm pretty fucking awesome."

"Yeah, when you're not going around drunkenly poking holes in condoms," she teased with a laugh.

I groaned, "I'm never going to live this down. Will I?"

"Nope." We both laughed. It felt good to laugh with Alice again, forgiven. Something I never thought I deserved.

"So why'd Edward call you Birdy?" Alice curiously asked as she picked up her McFlurry again.

I removed my arms from around her but stayed sitting right next to her on the bed. "That's just his stupid nickname for me," I shrugged hoping to play it off as nothing.

"Why Birdy though?" She pushed the issue through a mouthful of ice cream.

I rolled my eyes, "Because I flip him the bird all the time."

Alice almost choked on the food in her mouth through her laughter. "Yeah, that seems about right." She swallowed before continuing with what felt like the Spanish Inquisition. "He winked at you before he left."

I shook my head at her, "So? He does that all the time. He winked at the principal that one time and it got us out of detention. Did you hear that she and that ugly, pudgy gym teacher have been secretly hooking up for years? The janitor caught them in her office a few days ago."

Alice ignored my attempt to Segway into a different topic. "Something's going on with you two," she stated. "He had this shit eating-"'

"Ew."

"-grin on his face when he walked in," she continue like I didn't interrupt her. "He also was watching your ass when you walked over to the side of the bed."

"You're in labor right now! How are you paying _this_ much attention?" I exploded at her.

Alice's smile took up half her face. "Oh my God! Something_ is _going on between you two!"

I sighed, "Um, yeah. We're kind of...dating or whatever."

She squealed with excitement, "How long has this been going on?"

"I don't know. It depends."

"Depends on what?"

"Well I've known that he's liked me for like five months now the same day we kissed."

Alice punched my shoulder, "Is that why things were so awkward between you guys for a while."

I nodded, "Well that and some other stuff. But we've been like actually dating since the baby shower. We met up for late night breakfast and, I don't know, we sort of kind of ended up making out against my truck."

"That was a month ago! I can't believe neither one of you told me!"

"Well in our defense, I was kind of public enemy number one in your house."

Alice reluctantly agreed on that part with a nod, "So are you exclusive?"

I bit my lip before it turned into a grin. "Um, yeah. Just happened outside in the parking lot actually."

"Oh my God!" She squeaked again. "I'm loving this. You guys are going to be great together. I always thought that."

"Way to share with the rest of us there, Al," I teased her.

"ALICE!" Jasper barged into the room out of breath.

Alice's face lit up brighter than it did when I walked in. He was by her side with four strides of his weirdly long legs. Jasper gave Alice a kiss on her cheek before reaching over her and giving my hand a quick squeeze in a silent hello with a friendly smile that I reciprocated. "I'm just going to catch up with Edward and Esme in the cafeteria. Let you guys chat." I told them as I stood up. I wasn't even half way out the room by the time they both started talking about a mile a minuet.

At the doorway I stopped for a quick glance back. Alice in her hospital gown. Jasper in his mechanic coveralls. They held hands as the spoke. They both looked scared, terrified even. But at the same time excited.

They looked united.

* * *

><p>Despite what is shown on TV and movies, the miracle of life is actually quite boring for most of it. It also lasts for fucking hours. It's everyone sitting around trying to pass the time while Alice goes off into fits of pain every so often.<p>

Esme pulled me over hours ago to apologize about her actions. She was angry with me because she saw a girl who sabotaged her daughter's life and future that then pretended to be her friend. We had an excellent talk about everything. She's really like my second mother, something I never thought would happen when I first met her.

All of us have been sitting around for twelve hours now. Alice is now all drugged up but still uncomfortable, so she's making sure that were all as equally uncomfortable. I fell asleep on Edward on the couch but Alice woke me up by whipping the TV remote at my face screaming, "IF I CANT SLEEP THEN YOU CANT SLEEP!"

So overall it's good to know that extended labor doesn't make you crazy or anything.

"Four. Reverse. Skip. Skip. Wildcard. Blue. Wildcard. Red. UNO! What!" Edward smirked as he showed me his empty hands.

"Are you fucking kidding me E? I didn't even get to go!" I threw my hand of cards on the table.

"Don't hate the playa, hate the game." He shrugged and leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head

I shot him the bird. He just smirked and shook his head at me.

Alice's contractions have been getting closer and closer together but still no baby. We're all going stir crazy. Edward and I have gone to get food and coffee out of boredom only to end up making out in empty stairwells like seven times already.

Dr. Denali, a friend of their family, came in once again to check on Alice's dilation. "Sasha, _please_ tell me it's time to start pushing, because I'm about to just reach in there and pulled the little bastard out myself." Alice's tone made me think that she was legit serious.

The pretty strawberry blonde doctor took it as a joke though and chuckled at her as she put on her glasses and took a look under Alice's hospital gown. Dr. Denali spent a few moments doing whatever it is she does down before popping her head back up. "Well good news is that you're now officially ten centimeters. It's time for you to have a baby, Alice."

All of our heads perked up at this. "You're not dicking around with me here. Right, Sasha?" Alice asked.

In response she shook her head before beginning the set up for the birth. Edward and I jumped up from the chair and the couch, scattering UNO cards everywhere as we reached for my bag. I searched through my bag and grabbed the corncob pipe and top hat. I placed the hat on top of my head as Edward snatched the corncob pipe from the bag before sticking it in my mouth for me before we ran over to Alice's bedside.

It was utter chaos. I've seen some things I can't unseen. Jasper almost passed out. But Esme slapped him and brought him back. Edward was trying not to look at what exactly happening but still be present for Alice. So he was at the very head of the bed wiping off her sweat and rubbing her back. And Alice was cursing like a sailor and threatening to shoot Jasper. We were all screaming and yelling completely stressed out.

But you know what's amazing? We were all loosing our minds but the second we heard his little scream, we all just shut up.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" I shouted like Frosty the Snowman.

Edward, Alice, and Jasper cracked up. Esme was in tears. But I'm sure that was due to the sight of her grandson and not my comedic genius.

He was cleaned off before placed into Alice's arms. She looked up at Jasper with this elated smile on her face. He leaned over and gave her a kiss before they whispered a couple of things I couldn't hear. But then their attention was solely on the chubby white alien looking thing in her arms. Esme was taking a shit ton of pictures on her phone. I felt Edward move next to me, as I looked at the brand new little family. His hand slipped into mine before he reached over for the corncob pipe in my mouth and plopped it into his.

Alice and Jasper each got to hold him some more before he was sent off for testing and probing and what not. By this time the chaos was back as Alice was on her way to giving birth to the placenta. Which was my cue to exit.

Edward followed me out, obviously not able to take more stuff coming out of his cousin's vagina. I leaned against the wall once we were out of the hospital room. "It's a boy," I smiled at him.

He smirked. "Yes. And he shall be strapping and strong like his first cousin once removed."

"You looked up how exactly you're related to the baby?" I laughed.

Edward shrugged at me. "I _can_ use Google, Birdy."

I shook my head. "Okay, was it just me or was what happened in there was utterly _disgusting_." I asked.

His eyes widened as his head nodded in agreement. "Completely! So we need to like double condom up and make sure you take that pill or whatever it is religiously."

"Yes!" I agreed. "I can't have all of that happening to my body. I'm crazy now. Could you imagine me pregnant?"

He nodded before starting to stomp around like Frankenstein's monster. "Me Bella. Me pregnant. Me food now!"

I smacked his arm with an uncontrollable grin as he stomped back in front of me. "Fuck you." I smiled at him.

His tongue made this tisk, tisk, tisk noise as he placed his hand next to my head and leaned closer to me. "Not yet Birdy," he whispered at me. "But soon."

I rolled my eyes at him before he leaned in the rest of the way and met his lips to mine.

Esme opened the door and stepped out then finding us mid-embrace. "Oh!" Edward and I parted quickly. "Alrighty then. I'm just going to file that away for a later discussion. But Alice is finished and the baby's tests came out perfect. He's perfect," Esme smiled unbelievably happy.

"Okay Granny we'll head back in," I teased her knowing she hated being called a Grandma.

She shook her head at me but didn't scold me or tell me not to call her that like she usually does. We all moved back into the room to Alice and Jasper sitting side by side on the bed with the black-haired baby in Jasper's arms swaddled up in blue blankets. "Do we have a name yet?" I asked as I moved over to the bedside next to Jasper. Esme snapping away a million pictures.

Jasper looked at Alice silently asking permission to be the one to tell us. She gave a small nod of her tired head before Jasper turned back to us. "Elliott Rupert Whitlock-Cullen."

Edward and Esme both made approval noises while I grinned at them, "That's a great name guys. He'll grow up to be a hipster fashion guru, the next Calvin Klein if you will. _Elliott Rupert_."

Alice chuckled, "Shut the fuck up Bella. That's my son you're talking about."

"How weird is it? I mean he was just in your stomach an hour ago." Edward asked from next to me.

"It's surreal," Alice admitted. "An hour ago I wasn't sure if we were having a girl or boy and now here we are with a son."

I turned solely to Jasper now. "And how are _you _feeling?" I questioned him thinking about our phone call earlier.

"Like a father." He admitted as simply as he could at the moment.

I smiled at him knowing that he wasn't going anywhere for the time being. "You hold him Bella," Jasper told me holding out his son for me to take. I took off the top hat that I forgot I was still wearing and threw it to Edward before opening my arms for the baby.

The little thing was warm in my arms. His newborn gray eyes were open and frantically taking in all the new surroundings. A cry started to break through but I just snuggled the bundle of blankets closer to me, placing a kiss on top of the brushing of black hair on top of the head. "Hey there Elliott," I whispered to the little boy in my arms. "My name is Bella. I kind of made you happen. So . . . you're welcome for that."

**A/N: **

**And we're done! Wow. **

**I just want to thank all of my readers who have been with this story for years. And for all the readers that have just found this story as well. It's for all of you that I finished when I thought I couldn't possibly write another word.**

**Please review with your favorite moments of this chapter or any chapter or even just your opinions. Do you love the baby's name? Are you surprised about the gender? Aren't McFlurrys fucking delicious? I love having feedback from you guys. Even just a smiley. **

**An epilogue is probably not in the future unless I get a number of responses asking for one. I feel like the story has wrapped nicely by itself, but I'm opened to writing about one. **

**Thank you once again for reading. It means a lot to me.**

**Love and Hugs,**

**cynmonstorsity**


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